going down the rabbit hole
by AlunaGray
Summary: In which Hatake Kakashi blames rabbits, gets reborn as a girl, and breaks the laws of time, space and dimension. Crack treated seriously. AU. [Indefinite Hiatus]
1. Prologue: I am no more

**Summary:** In which Hatake Kakashi blames rabbits, gets reborn as a girl, and breaks the laws of time, space and dimension. Crack treated seriously. AU.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto is not mine

* * *

Prologue: I am no more

* * *

Hatake Kakashi was having a good day.

After suffering through countless paperwork as the Rokudaime, he could finally take a break. He just transferred the hat to Naruto yesterday – kami knows the yellow-haired brat wanted it more than anything – and he's looking forward to reacquainting with his Icha-Icha again.

It had honestly been way too long since Kakashi read the series, because his brats – the lovable shits that they were – ransacked his library and threatened to burn it for the "greater good" of the village once he took up the hat.

Really, they're lucky he's fond of them or he would have done something _drastic._

He was supposed to ease the boy in his new duties today, but meh - Shizune could handle it.

Besides, Kakashi wanted visit his favourite spot for old time's sake too.

He had to tell Minato-sensei, Kushina-san, Obito and Rin the good news, after all.

* * *

Walking silently towards the Memorial Stone, Kakashi idly wondered what Naruto's reaction would be after facing the bane of all Hokages' existence.

Paperwork.

Stuffy _elders_.

And, of course.

 _The Civilian Council_.

Ugh. If Kakashi had a choice, he wouldn't have taken the position. Seriously, Obito and Naruto's insane to wish for that kind of fate.

To think of all the arses that he had _kissed–_

Kakashi shuddered and shook his head.

He tried not to dwell on it.

(Kakashi's avoidance of the issue didn't always work since there's only so much compartmentalizing one man could make. However, envisioning one of his former little genin's downcast and disillusioned face as he discover the hardships he would face as 'Hokage, dattebayo' never failed to improve Kakashi's mood. He's strangely comforted by the knowledge that he's not the only one in his team that would undergo the same torture. )

(...That probably made Kakashi a bad teacher but he honestly couldn't bring himself to care.)

A rustle interrupted his musings, making him unconsciously tense and reach for his kunai. With his instincts blaring in warning, Kakashi forced himself to stay his hand and act relaxed, all the while surveying his surroundings like a hawk. He didn't get much from it but one thing was sure though,

The chakra he sensed was _strange_. It's _foreign – powerful_.

The closest thing similar to it would be the Kyuubi's but that's not right either.

As the bushes bristled, Kakashi prepared to strike but _–_

"Muu~" a rabbit jumped out, suddenly popping the tension.

Kakashi faceplanted. He relaxed his stance a bit, but immediately tensed again when he observed the rabbit's eyes. It looks kind of familiar. It's _red_ with pupils that–

"The Mangekyo." He whispered in a strangled voice, stunned.

Keeping the...mutant in sight, Kakashi absentmindedly wondered if the person who previously owned the eyes were on crack.

It would be simply ludicrous to assume that it evolved, because what would the bunny need the Sharingan for? It was more logical to think that the rabbit was experimented on for some absurd reason, although the idea that someone actually _did_ made him want to pinch himself to check if he wasn't dreaming.

He, then, briefly remembered the trouble the clan subjected him to after getting Obito's eye and Kakashi's lips couldn't help but quirk in dark amusement when he imagined those stuffy elders turning on their graves from the current blasphemy. He felt kind of guilty thinking that since the joke's admittedly tasteless, but meh. Obito hated them anyway.

Suddenly, the rabbit hopped higher than Kakashi thought possible. As he automatically went to defend himself and slit that creepy bunny's neck, he was caught in its gaze and immediately felt the effects of what must be an S-class jutsu.

"Kami! What kind of creature is this?!" Kakashi groaned as crumpled into himself after feeling compressed bit by bit.

It felt _wrong_ and he's feeling nauseated, _repulsed–_

He screamed hoarsely. "What the heck's going on?!"

Kakashi faced excruciating pain before _–_ when his precious people died, when he failed his teammates, when he underwent through torture disguised as training, when he went on missions that tore apart his already beaten soul bit by bit. It _hurt_ , but he survived. But this...he felt _violated_.

A seal that started from his eye when he gazed at that accursed rabbit, spread into Kakashi's whole body until he blacked out.

His last thought was how he – Kakashi of the Sharingan, Rokudaime, S-class Kage-level shinobi, son of the White Fang, student of the Yellow Flash – was defeated.

Not from a war.

Not from an enemy shinobi.

But from a fudging _bunny_.

He didn't know rabbits could be this evil but if he ever recovered from this, he's going to hunt all of them to extinction.

 _Believe it._


	2. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 1

Toddler Troubles - Chapter 1: I blame the Shodaime for this

* * *

Kakashi didn't know what's happening at the moment, but he's pretty sure he didn't like it.

Nope.

Not one bit.

After losing consciousness when that creepy rabbit jutsu'd his ass with its Mangekyo, he woke to being uncomfortably ejected by some kind of tunnel and slapped in the ass.

Feeling terrified and affronted – because he was _sexually harassed_ for kami's sake! –, he opened his eyes and tried to glare at the deviant who dared touch his ass but quickly found out that he couldn't even see anything aside from blurs. He had the strangest urge to cry, and felt groggy and weak for some reason.

Was he poisoned? Drugged?

Wait.

Was someone actually carrying him?

A whimper unintentionally went out of Kakashi's lips as seconds later, he was picked up again; confirming his suspicions that, yes, he really was being carried by some unknown giant to _kami_ knows where and, _yes_ , he most likely ended up in the hands of very _suspicious_ people who he was sure by now must have used some drugs on him at some point, because how in hell could they have managed to lull him – _him, Hatake Kakashi all-around renowned basket-case –_ into relaxing his guard if they did otherwise?

"Oh. My beautiful, beautiful child. You're so pretty." The giant cooed while rocking him gently." Anata, look at her. She's gorgeous."

Of course, he was. Kakashi hid his face solely for that reason. He always was mistaken as a girl before as a child, and even when he eventually grew into his features, kept the mask because – aside from being a reliable source of amusement – there were still some assholes who mistake him for the other gender even with all his muscles and shit.

At least that meant he wasn't flashing anybody with his nakedness since he was mistaken for a girl. After all, Kakashi's confident that regardless of how _pretty_ he looked, he's very – er _gifted_ in _that_ area, thank you very much.

He was disgusted though. Kakashi didn't really like the thought of being treated as a disgusting fetish enabler and even in the past, he avoided seduction missions as much as possible.

Revolting, really.

He tried glaring and cursing or just _anything_ to convey his ire but _damn it_ his limbs weren't working properly and gurgles – _gurgles_ were the only sounds he could make.

Then, it seemed as if everything stopped for a moment, when the giant holding him suddenly cuddled him close and he saw for the first time the face of one of his captors.

"Beautiful." He warbled intelligibly, stunned by the sight. With the giant – no _woman's_ dark gray eyes and silver spiky hair, she easily had one of the loveliest faces that he had ever seen. It also looked familiar for some reason and on impulse; he patted the face to check if it was real.

When the woman laughed joyously at his actions, Kakashi could only stare raptly – mesmerized.

"My hime's so cute!" The woman rubbed her nose on his cheeks. "I'm your kaa-san, musume and I would always take care of you." She looked at him with obvious love in her eyes that Kakashi was helplessly taken aback by the abrupt turn of events.

With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he didn't like where this was going. At all.

Turning to someone beside her, the woman continued softly. "Dear, can you get her to sleep for me? I'm still quite tired."

"Of course, love." A deep voice replied, strained and somewhat hesitant. Kakashi was once again passed and now carried by arms that were strangely trembling. He looked at the man – because it must be a man – when he faltered. The man was wearing a Konoha hitai-ate.

Kakashi fainted.

* * *

Contrary to the image he presented in public, Hatake Kakashi was far from stupid. Although he read Icha-Icha in public, was perpetually late, and liked to screw with people's heads, he graduated at five for a reason. He was hailed as a prodigy because of his mind and he didn't practice self-delusion.

So when Kakashi woke up from his fainting spell, he instantly cried and screamed his heart out – pride as a man thrown out of the figurative window with no regret or whatsoever. If anyone asked, he's just acting his age and after putting all the dots together, who could blame him?

Knowing that a rabbit got one over him, _Mangekyo Sharingan_ and ridiculous chakra levels notwithstanding, was already difficult enough to swallow. Discovering the sex change and reincarnation bit was just reaching kami-levels of absurdity.

If his limbs would cooperate, Kakashi would pinch himself on principle just to complete the ludicrous picture, but even without the action, he's pretty sure he's not getting out of this.

He lost his team, his plant, his porn collection and...

His _balls_.

Kakashi's chest hurt.

He was especially attached to the last one.

Peculiarly, he blamed the Shodaime for this. Kakashi knew that there must be something suspicious with those damned huge-ass trees around the village. Really, for all Kakashi knew he wasn't the first victim of that rabbit abomination. Maybe there were hundreds of the mutant, all waiting to suck up some poor sap's masculinity.

Terrifying.

It's just Kakashi's luck to run in into one on his first day of pseudo-retirement.

On the bright side, at least one person in the Konoha he left behind would be happy.

Sasuke finally rebuilt his clan!

Not just in the way he's expecting but his cute little student would get over it.

Probably.

...Yeah. He's not taking this very well.


	3. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 2

**Summary** : Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer** : Naruto's not mine~

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 2:**

* * *

-My parents have a fetish with scarecrows-

* * *

-Kakashi's Introspection-

Being a baby sucks. Hatake Kakashi was looking forward to the paradise of being pampered and doted on in his new early years of life, but alas it was not to be. Let it be repeated. **Being a baby sucks.**

He can tolerate the _cooing_ , the constant cuddling, and the inability to walk, talk, speak and do any other complicated things. However, being _breastfeed-ed_ (which felt excruciatingly uncomfortable) and frequently lying in your own defecation (which was simultaneously humiliating and humbling) isn't exactly paradise. Blacking out randomly is an issue too because all of his plans (which he makes for shits and giggles because being a baby is boring) is interrupted whenever his baby brain can't handle the strain.

Kakashi, of course, tries not to inconvenience his new parents too much. During the nine months of his new life, he discovered that his new mother was sweet and more beautiful than he first saw her (he didn't know why she strangely wears a mask sometimes, but who is he to judge?) and his father, although awkward and unused to a baby, is affectionate. However, as his eyes adjusted to the surroundings as weeks passed by, who could really blame him when he cried like crazy for days after seeing the **Uchiha** crest above his crib? Seriously? Who? He only stopped after a while, but it obviously took a toll to on his new parents constitution with their eye-bags and haggard faces.

Anyway, after throwing his first tantrum ever (from what he remembers, he's actually an unusual baby before), he deduced that he's either the granddaughter of his former genin (which would be seriously weird) and jumped 10/20 years in the future or he was born in the past (which would suck because being massacred along with his parents by one of the people he failed is not how he wanted to end this fantastic new life - he's aiming for making up to 50 years old this time).

He's actually betting more on the latter though, because from his new mother's worried faces and the hush-hush talks he sometimes hears, war is either coming or its already ongoing. What war it was, he has yet to know.

Moving on. After being visited by various well-wishers from the clan (which was honestly a weird experience because who knew those stuffy Uchihas can make excellent _funny faces_? He thought Obito was an exception but there's actually more like him in the clan. Heck, maybe all of them are like that but some just hide it better), he now learned the names of his new parents. The woman - kaa-san is Uchiha Shizuka nee Mami and the man - tou-san is Uchiha Akira. His kaa-san, from the stories she sometimes tells him to sleep, is from a clan that was on its way to extinction. The Mami clan is once known for their beauty and prowess in infiltration during the Warring Clans Era, however due to their lack of prowess in combat, they slowly grew apart until people forgot about who they once were. At least that's what he concluded, after the princesses and tragic endings his kaa-san told him about. It's also possible that maybe he's making shit up. Who knows, right?

His own name, on the other hand, is Uchiha Yaseppochi. Yep. Really. Its a mouthful and rhymes with mocchi. Furthermore, it also means 'scarecrow'. It's official (and kind of disturbing). His parents, whatever time it may be, have an odd fetish with scarecrows. Personally, Kakashi doesn't see the appeal but he wonders if this is fate strange way in convincing him to take up farming. It seems to be an honorable job...but meh he still has time to decide anyway.

Kakashi's still not used to addressing himself as a girl. He's working up the guts to leave the last bits of his manly pride behind but he doesn't condone self-deception. He knows that he can't get back into his previous life because of that damn rabbit and, logically, it would really be a problem if he let this continue. He's trying to psyche himself for the inevitable pronoun change in life and hope for the best.

* * *

-The Start of Uchiha Yaseppochi: Shizuka's POV-

Uchiha Shizuka is a practical woman. She cuts through bullshit easily and she's very observant. So although she would easily sacrifice her life for her Pochi, her nine-month-old baby, she couldn't deny that she find her daughter strange. Maybe its the Uchiha genes working its magic but she could swore that her daughter is almost like an adult inside of a baby's body.

Starting from her birth, instead of screaming and crying like a normal baby should have, she just whimpered to signal her distress. It's almost like she refused to cry, with her brows furrowed and chubby cheeks into a scowl. It's adorable! She almost seems aware of what's happening to her when - instead of crying and flailing about - she patted Shizuka's face when she cuddled her daughter close with what could only be described as awe and wonder in her eyes.

Her daughter is also not very fussy. Although her baby subjected them into a week-long hell when she wouldn't stop crying and screaming for whatever reason, she's actually very considerate. Pochi occasionally just cry when she needed her nappy change although she seems a bit hesitant when it comes to food. She always seems to hesitate when it comes to feeding and doesn't immediately latched on to Shizuka's nipple when its offered. She's a good listener too. Whenever Shizuka would tell stories about her clan, Pochi always has this focused look on her face as if she understands every word Shizuka's babbling about.

Aside from that, Shizuka, once in a while, sees her daughter with an almost calculating expression on her face. Its kind of unnerving at first since her daughter often _cackles_ while doing it but she got over it quickly enough. Besides, her Pochi looks really cute while laughing (albeit dementedly - thankfully she always nap after a few seconds of doing so).

When her husband's relatives start coming by into their house in droves to meet their angel, Pochi seems to adapt this almost aloof attitude. However, it quickly crumbled in the face of many goofy expressions from the visitors. Her daughter actually _squealed_ in laughter with the way some played with her. She immediately caught the hearts of her many cousins, uncles and aunts with her gummy smiles and chubby cheeks.

Currently, Shizuka is just attempting to change her daughter's onesie into a cuter one since she wants to go out for once. She's tired of being cooped in the house and Shizuka's sure that Pochi wouldn't mind. She seems to look more bored this days so this could be a new experience for her.

"Pochi-chan" Uchiha Shizuka coos while rocking her nine-month old daughter in her arms. "We're going outside today. Kaa-san's need to buy groceries since Tou-san's tired. Behave, okay?"

Her daughter gurgles in reply. Flailing about in what she interprets to be agreement, Shizuka smiled and reached for her mask and wallet. Walking quietly to their bedroom, she kissed her husband's sleeping face and softly said their whereabouts.

"Okay." her husband replied groggily, trying to shake off vestiges of sleep from his face. "Just be careful, dear"

Softly snuggling their daughter's cheek, Akira-anata bade them goodbye and the mother and daughter duo went on their way outside...not knowing that this would be a momentous occasion for their little princess, Pochi.

* * *

 **A/N:** Wah. Thanks for the feedback again. This is my first story so I'm still having trouble in writing my ideas but I'm glad some are enjoying it. I appreciate the suggestion from one of the guest but I already picked the name...it just speaks to me, I guess. Lmao. Thanks for the gesture though.


	4. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 3

**Summary** : Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer** : Naruto's not my property.

 **Note:** Kakashi would start addressing herself as female and Pochi in this chapter.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 3:**

* * *

\- I was absolutely _NOT_ sulking -

* * *

Hatake Kaka- er.. _.Uchiha Yaseppochi_ is looking forward to finally leaving her house. She had been bored out of her mind within the past few weeks and it seems like her _ahem_ wondrous plans doesn't cut it in entertaining her anymore. When her kaa-san announced an outing in the form of grocery shopping, she'd been so ecstatic that she actually stopped herself from squealing in happiness.

'Finally!' Ka - Pochi thought, victoriously. 'I thought I was gonna go insane' Never mind the fact that she's already insane in the first place.

Purposefully ignoring the shocking shade of pink of her onesie (it reminds her of one of her former cute genin anyway), she flailed about in her mother's arms in impatience.

"Hai hai, Pochi-chan." her kaa-san laughed at her wriggling. "I'm just gonna get my mask and wallet before we go. Let's say goodbye to your tou-san too."

Entering her parents bedroom cradled in her mother's arms, her mother kissed her tou-san and said something that she didn't catch. What Pochi did catch, however, was the obvious loving look the two shared.

'Seriously. Who ever started that trend that Uchihas are unfeeling bastards is an idiot' Kaka- Pochi thought bemusedly. 'They're sometimes arrogant asses, sure, but their capacity to love is extraordinary. Even my new relatives are surprisingly accepting. They really didn't deserve that much flack and discrimination they got from the village.'

After her sudden bout of brooding about the unfairness of life for her new clan, Pochi tuned in to her surroundings and realized that they were already inside the market. Unprepared by the sheer number of people, she suddenly felt suffocated as she was blindsided by the fact that her current body is weak and everybody can see through her without her mask and handy Icha-Icha book to hide in. Although Pochi is seemingly accepting of what happened to her, she carefully avoided the issue of her current vulnerability and weakness. She's actually still adjusting to the fact that all her hard work and training are all for naught and what she once took pride in and trusted not to be stolen was now gone.

Her body tensed as she was faced with that realization. 'Not self-delusional, my ass' Pochi thought bitterly. 'I'm such a freaking liar.'

In an attempt to squash her burgeoning panic attack - no need to worry her kaa-san, after all - she tried to focus on the weird faces on some mountain as her mother stopped by the vegetable stand.

Pochi squeaked in surprise - drawing an odd look from her mother.

'Looks like I know what timeline I'm in, after all.' she thought mournfully after seeing the Sandaime Hokage's face carved into the rock. 'I have to adjust my plans. Being a farmer or merchant seems to be a bad choice with the number of wars and conflict Konoha would face in the future. Why, oh why, weren't I born in the future? Weird or not, Naruto already established a semblance peace within Elemental Nations with his theraphy-no-jutsu and it would have been nice to finally relax for once...'

'Looks like I have to fight again' Pochi sighed dejectedly.

* * *

After being waylaid by people cooing in Pochi's cuteness in the duration of their shopping (her chubby cheeks are hurting so much from being pinched!), her mother stopped by the dango shop to pick up some of tou-san's favorite snack.

Feeling tired and just done with the world, Pochi yawned and attempted to nap for a bit. However, as she was closing her eyes and getting comfortable in her kaa-san's arms, someone excitedly greeted her mother and foiled her well-deserved rest.

"Shizuka-chi!" a pretty woman with dark hair and eyes - _though kaa-san is prettier in Pochi's wholly unbiased opinion_ \- said cheerfully while holding what seems to be a sleeping bundle in her arms. "How are you? I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit you because I've been busy with my own baby and -"

"That's okay, Mikoto-chan." Pochi's jaw dropped comically. Mikoto?! "I actually understand since my Pochi's keeping us up too. Although she really is usually sweet, she has her moments of..."

Tuning out the conversation, Pochi was inwardly panicking from the unexpected revelation 'Mikoto...Mikoto...So the sleepy bundle must be Itachi!" Pochi thought hysterically. 'Why?! Why, now for kami's sake?! I am awfully unprepared today dammit! This was supposed to be _vacation...VACATION_ '

She flailed her arms at her kaa-san, hoping her mother would take the hint. However, Pochi couldn't stop her look of utter horror when her kaa-san mentioned the word _playdate_. **Playdate**. The word was so ominous that Pochi wondered if she's just imagining how it was said in slow-mo.

"Look. She's so excited! I'm sure she would love Itachi very much. Maybe the day after tomorrow?"

'What? NOOOOOOO!' Pochi thought, distressed. She felt distinctly betrayed as Mikoto nailed the figurative coffin shut with her next sentence.

"Sure." Mikoto smiled. "Itachi's sleepy though so I'm afraid I have to go home immediately."

Suddenly deflating at the inevitability, Pochi watched with narrowed eyes and a pout as her mother and Mikoto parted with goodbyes and promises to get in touch with each other soon. To keep what sanity she has left, Pochi decided to purposefully forget what transpired in the past few moments and sulked in her mother's arms.

'Nothing happened after all. Nothing. Nooooooooothing. Nope. Nada'

"Pochi-chan, what's wrong?" her mother asked concerned. After finishing their purchases in the dango shop, the mother and daughter duo are actually on their way home but Pochi's strange behavior seemed to have worried her kaa-san.

Sniffing haughtily at the person who decidedly did _not_ toss her to the wolves or in this case _Ita-_ no one, Pochi sulked and avoided her mother's eyes by burrowing to her chest. She was _not_ angry at what her mother did to her because _nothing_ happened. Absolutely nothing. Nope.

Poking her chubby cheeks, her kaa-san tried again to snap Pochi out of her strange mood. "Pochiiii-chan. What's-"

Interrupting her kaa-san's pointless question (because there's absolutely _nothing_ wrong), a boy wearing strange goggles bumped into her mother's groceries. Scowling at the perpetrator because Pochi surely didn't like how she was _not_ interrupted from her sulking, Pochi froze at the what she saw.

'Obito' she thought, stunned.

* * *

 **A/N:** For some weird reason, the update date thingy in FFN is kinda faulty. It makes me feel oddly disappointed since this story didn't exactly move up in the search engine this time and stuff. However, due to this pettiness...I'm gonna post again today. Tada! I'm not sure when I would update next since I'm kinda busy but it would probably be on weekends.

Anyhoo, I would like to give thanks to that reviewer in Chapter 3 about Kakashi's new name. I thought the name was odd at first but I'm glad someone liked it. Kakashi's new appearance would be described in the next chapter.

I really would love to get some feedback on my writing (because I know I have a lot to improve on) as well as more ideas that may or may not be added in future chapters. I kind of have a plan for this story already but if I liked your idea - I'll try to include it!


	5. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 4

**Summary** : Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer** : Naruto's not mine.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 4:**

* * *

-Obi-nii broke my parents hearts-

* * *

-The Strange Baby: Uchiha Obito's POV-

Uchiha Obito was late.

He was supposed to be at school 30 minutes ago but the baa-san in the shop near his house needed help so Obito lent his hand. He thought it would be quick and easy but the crates needed to be carried are quite heavy. Of course, that didn't stop him though. Obito's gonna be Hokage, after all, and the baa-san seems to be really tired so he, in good conscience, can't leave her like that on her own (He was kind of scared with the baa-san too. She's quite strict in how the crates should be carried - even more so than Rin-chan).

'Wait. Rin-chan?! Oh man.' Obito groaned inwardly and ran even faster. 'I forgot about Rin-chan. She's gonna be disappointed with me again since today we're supposed to review before our exams. Maybe if I gave her some candy the baa-san kindly gave me-'

Interrupting his thoughts, Obito abruptly bumped into the groceries of a woman holding a baby. Since he was running at full speed towards the academy while preoccupied, he wasn't completely aware of his surroundings. Berating himself once again, Obito bowed and apologized profusely to the woman.

"Maa, Maa Obito-kun. It's okay. Take a deep breath, now" the woman chuckled."The groceries were fine. You didn't really do any harm."

"Ah! Shizuka-nee." Obito said, surprised. Now looking closely at the person he jostled, he realized that it really was Shizuka-nee, the kind wife of Uchiha Akira. The couple really helped him when his parents died and Obito was kind of guilty that he hadn't been able to visit lately - especially now with their new daughter who he heard was named Mochi or something.

"I'm really sorry I bumped into you. I was just thinking while running because baa-san from the shop needs help and I'm gonna be Hokage, you know so I tried to help her a bit. It took longer than I thought so I ran and then I thought of Rin-chan _whowouldbesodisappointedwithmeohmykami_ -"

"Obito-kun. Calm down." Shizuka-nee said, amused. "I don't really mind but my daughter, Pochi, was interrupted from her sulking so she's miffed."

A whine immediately rose in what appears to be protest from the baby in Shizuka-nee's arms. Obito, glancing at the response, was left speechless from what he saw. On another note, he also absentmindedly noted the way the baby stiffened and look at him heartbrokenly(?), no, _sorrowfully_ before adapting an almost aloof expression.

'Wow. What a ridiculously cute baby. Seriously. I'm seriously tempted right now to pinch that damn cheeks but it's now quite red from others doing that' Obito thought bemusedly, taking in the puffy silky silver hair and the signature Uchiha onyx eyes that are larger than normal the baby sported.'Not that I blame them. Although the Uchihas are known for fine features that all of them somewhat shared, the baby seemed to get the luck of the draw in the looks department.'

"Obito-kun? Obitooo. Oi, Obito-kun." Shizuka-nee interrupted, waving her hands in front of him to get his attention. "Are you okay? You're spacing out more than usual."

Obito blushed. "Er...uh...It's nothing." Laughing awkwardly, he continued."I'll just carry your groceries now, nee-san. To apologize for, you know, bumping into you."

"Ara. As I've said, there's no harm done. And besides, won't you be late for class, Obito-kun? You mentioned something about a disappointed Rin-chan..."

'Oh. Crap. I'm sure Rin-chan would understand, right? I haven't been able to spend much time with the Shizuka-nee and Akira-nii anymore and I wouldn't want to look rude to the people who've been nice to me'

"It's no trouble Shizuka-nee." Obito smiled brightly. "Besides, it would only take a couple of minutes anyway. I'm sure you're quite tired from carrying heavy things." Taking the groceries in Shizuka-nee's hand, he stepped back and was taken aback by the fierce scowl leveled by the chibi in her mother's arms. Have he said something wrong?

Mentally reviewing what he said, he realized that he implied that she's fat. The narrowed eyes are quite sharp and he could almost see how she's practically screaming ' _Are you telling me I'm fat?!_ ' Coupled with those chubby cheeks though, he imagined the outburst would look strangely adorable.

'How could a baby understand that much? I'm sure a baby wasn't supposed to have that much level of comprehension at this. Meh. Maybe it's Uchiha genes working.'

"Er. Gomen gomen Mochi - er Pochi-chan." Obito said, cautiously. "You're not fat. At least, not that much. Your cheeks are really chubby but, uh, don't worry. Its cute anyway." Giving in to the urge, he pinched her cheeks too.

Shizuka-nee laughed at the comically baffled look her daughter gave him in response. "Obito-kun. Why don't you just tell me about what you're up to these days? You're almost graduating, right?"

Replying cheerfully, Obito proceeded to narrate his experiences as an Academy Student. He mentioned Rin-chan a lot and how it would be so great if they were on the same team. Obito also noticed that the baby, Pochi, was also intently listening with what could be described as a fond expression on her face. He shrugged it off as a quirk and before he knew it, they were already at Shizuka-nee's house.

"Thank you, Obito-kun. Would you like to get some snack to go? I'm sure Anata wouldn't mind sharing his dango if it's for you."

"Ah. No thanks is needed Shizuka-nee. It's my fault, anyway. For bumping into you, I mean. I better go. Rin-chan would be worried about me but I promise I would visit you from time to time soon" Obito replied bashfully.

"Nonsense." Waving off Obito's hesitance, Shizuka-nee proceeded to get the groceries and passed Pochi in his arms who also squeaked in astonishment. Surprised by the abrupt package he was given, Obito was just thanking his lucky stars he's used to caring for babies with the amount of babysitting jobs he took. Akira-nii is scary and he's sure Shizuka-nee's no slouch either if he dropped their baby.

"Come on inside, I'll just drop this off first and I'll give you a gift."

"But Shizuka-nee! I-" Obito protested loudly but Shizuka-nee already left. Awkwardly he entered the house with the baby in his arms.

In an attempt to break the uneasy silence, Obito focused on the baby in his arms and attempted to introduce himself "Um. Hi Pochi-chan. I'm your Obito-nii."

The baby, in reply, patted his face almost sadly and babbled a series of incomprehensible words that Obito peculiarly felt to be some kind of reprimand or scolding. Listening patiently to her 'agugu blarkgh blsh', Obito sat at the chair nearby and got comfortable. However, he immediately tensed when he heard a set of footsteps in the hallway. When he realized it was just Akira-nii, Obito relaxed.

"Obito-kun" Akira-nii, who looked haggard, greeted him warmly. "I see you've already meet our princess. I haven't seen you a lot these past few weeks. How are you?"

Obito groaned. "I already felt guilty nii-san. Sorry for not visiting you sooner. I'm just really busy with all the jobs and assignments given to us especially with the war going on. I'm actually close to graduating now too so I haven't been able to get in touch."

"I understand" Akira nee said sympathetically. "Have you brush up on your taijutsu, replacement jutsu and stealth skills though? It's not all about flashy jutsus, you know. No matter how admittedly cool they look"

Obito looked faintly guilty because, lately, he just focused on perfecting his Great Fireball Jutsu. He can do something as big as a grown man now! Although he's taijutsu is sadly lacking due to lack of practice.

"It's okay Obito. You're still young, after all. Just ask your jounin-sensei to focus on that in your training. Improve your speed too. It would be a valuable help in the future."

"Thank you, Akira-nii. I-"

"Obito. Here." interrupting Obito's sentence, Shizuka-nee appeared out of nowhere and handed him a tanto.

"Eh?! I...I can't accept this." said Obito in disbelief. "I mean. I don't want to insult you or anything but it looks like its valuable. I'm sure you would like to give it to someone better than me. Someone important."

"Tsk. Obito-kun, aren't you already important? You're family, after all. Besides, aren't you supposed to be the next Hokage?" Akira-nii interjected with a smile.

Tearing up a bit, Obito gave Pochi to her dad (who whined and reached out to Obito in protest) and wrapped the couple in a big hug.

Pochi, who was close to him, patted his eyes and looks like she was trying to say something. Scrunching her forehead in what appears to be concentration, she said adorably. "Obwi-nii dun cwy."

"Ah. I'm not crying. Hmph. Mochi-chan, I'm just sweating through my eyes. See?" Obito said cheerfully, his voice trembling a bit. Averting his eyes in self-consciousness, his eyes landed on the clock helpfully telling him that although it is a touching moment, he's late. Very, very late, in fact.

"I don't mean to sound rude and I really did love your gift Shizuka-nee but I'm horribly late. Horribly, terrifyingly late" he said, agitated.

"We understand" Akira-nii said, his voice strangely strained and mournful.

Saying his goodbyes, Obito was once again running at full speed to the academy. He wonders about the crunching noise he heard a bit though and why when he went away all of them are oddly wearing the same heartbroken look in their face.

* * *

Kakashi Hatake/Uchiha Yaseppochi's POV

'He's still alive' Pochi thought fervently.' He's still alive! I'm not dreaming. I'm not too late. I can still save him.'

It was always Kakashi's greatest regret that he let Obito get crushed by that damn rock. If he was faster, if he wasn't so freaking unused to the idea of saving his comrades lives in place of the mission, Obito wouldn't have to save Kakashi. It should've been him. It broke his heart when he realized in the 5th Shinobi War, that Obito - Obito that goofy person so much like _Naruto_ with his dream to be Hokage someday and loved Rin so _so_ much- is the one who's behind of the death of their sensei and the cause of the many casualties in Konoha - the most distressing of which is the mass murder of his previous clan, the Uchiha.

When it was later revealed to him by Naruto that Obito - that _stupid loving idiot_ \- was brainwashed by Madara, it twisted the knife further. Obito resisted the idea at first but he started to go off into the deep end when he witnessed Kakashi's second mistake, Rin's death. She shouldn't have died and it _hurthurthurt_ that his Chidori - one of his creations - was the cause of his comrade's death. It's the reason why he didn't create any new jutsu in the first place because as illogical as it seems, Kakashi blames himself as much as Obito has.

'Obito mentioned that he's graduating. I'm not going to let him go again. Madara can go suck ass for all I cared but he's not getting Obito. **Never. Again.** ' Pochi thought determinedly. 'I still don't have much time and I can't do anything in this form but I wonder if I could - Aha!"

So after Obito abruptly said his goodbyes, Pochi ignored her body's tiredness from the emotionally and physically draining day she has and looked at her new parents in sadness. Widening her teary eyes a bit for maximum effect (She learned it from the best. Her dogs' puppy-eyes-jutsu are absolutely lethal, after all), Pochi said pitifully. "Obwi-nii?"

"He'll be back." her father said listlessly. Finding it odd, she finally looked at her parents properly and stared, uncomprehending.

'Why do they look like I just killed their dog in front of them while cackling gleefully? Did something happen?' Pochi thought bemusedly.

"Pochi-chan. You said you're first word. I'm so happy" At odds at her words, her mother looked at Pochi mournfully.

'Ah. So that's what happened.'

"But...but Pochi-chan! Say kaa-san" her kaa-san cried out.

"What about tou-san?" her father interjected, taking on a hopeful look as he rocked her in his arms gently.

Taking pity on her parents, Pochi opened her mouth to speak but - much to the disappointment of her parents - a yawn came out.

'I can't fight it anymore' she thought to herself, yawning again. 'I'm really really tired. I'm sure this can wait until tomorrow'

Closing her eyes and getting out a final yawn groggily, she wriggled for a more comfortable position and fell asleep.


	6. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 5

**Summary:** Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto's not mine.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 5:**

* * *

-I face _Itachi_ -

* * *

"Tou, hwelp." Uchiha Yasepocchi squeaked out to her father, pleading. Caving in to her adorable pouting face and looking at her sympathetically, the man proceeded to speak to kaa-san but wisely closed his mouth when he saw the sharp look his wife sported.

'Coward.' Pochi thought, sulking. Puffing out her cheeks in frustration, she wondered if it's worth it to throw a tantrum again. She would max out her already beaten pride but she could buy herself more time. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

The reason for Pochi's current dilemma is the dreaded **playdate** with, _le gasp_ , Itachi. The **playdate** that was definitely _not_ scheduled according to her obviously reliable memory but kaa-san ( _whocouldn'ttakethehintohmygums?!_ ) insisted that did.

For the past few days after Obito's visit, Pochi, by hook and crook, has pulled numerous plans out of her ass in order to delay the inevitable (what inevitable its referring to, she has _no_ clue. She trusts her instincts though. She's sure that it would definitely be terrible and _kami_ , it was!)

Pochi first tried to postpone the occasion by saying 'kaa, tou, I wuv you' the other day. It was gratifying to see how happy it made them. Although its awfully difficult to pronounce those words with her tongue twisting in knots (it made her nap immediately afterwards from the sheer effort it took), the celebration that took place lasted a whole day and delayed the event that she definitely has _no_ clue about.

The day after that other day, Pochi tried to crawl. After all, her first crawl must be momentous, right? However, much to her disappointment, she find it hard to even sit up - let alone crawl. Fortunately, sitting up was apparently another momentous occasion and, once again, celebrations occur. Her kaa-san definitely forgot about the scheduled play- _ahem_ **nothing** but fate seems to conspire in foiling her plans when her father (that traitor!), during dinner after a long day of work, helpfully mentioned that the clan head's wife was inquiring about the playdate with Pochi and Itachi. Kaa-san was, of course, distressed for forgetting and decided to just visit tomorrow morning.

Pochi, in response to her mother's plans, threw a magnificent tantrum for the whole day yesterday. She slept after each crying jag but immediately started wailing again after waking up. It successfully diverted her mother's attention and, once again, her mother temporarily forgot about what she had in mind. When her kaa-san finally remembered what she had planned (with her father's _oh-so-helpful_ reminder again, dammit!), it was already too late and she, once again, postponed the visit.

However, it seems that her tactics wouldn't work now. She tried wriggling when her mother outfitted her in a new onesie (it's blue this time). Hugged her father while repeatedly saying 'no no no' and pouting adorably. She tried the puppy-eyes-jutsu again but alas with her mother's determined sharp look, it didn't work. They're already on their way out of the house, with her mother's mask safely in place, and is supposed to be exchanging their goodbye's and see you later's with her father. Pochi pulled off one last attempt by pleading to her father but kaa-san has a one-track mind and before Pochi knew it, they're already outside knocking on the door of the clan head's house.

"Shizuka-chi!" Mikoto, the clan head's wife greeted warmly as she opened the door. "I'm glad you're here. I thought you forgot the play date we arranged the other day but I'm glad you came now. Luckily, I'm cooking enough food for all of us because Itachi's friend is also visiting. Please, come in."

"Gomen, Mikoto-chan" her kaa-san replied regretfully as she discarded her footwear and went inside the living room. "There has been lots significant occasions for Pochi these days so I've been a bit preoccupied."

"What sort of occasions? Is she able to crawl now?" Mikoto questioned while getting bottled milk for the sleepy bundle- _ohmykami_ it's _Itachi_ \- in the crib.

"No. She made a valiant effort the other day, which was absolutely adorable by the way, but she still can't do it. However, she just said her first word or first sentence so we're really happy."

Laying Pochi in the same crib (who shot her kaa-san a betrayed look while whining and wriggling like crazy), her mother, then, proceeded to go to the kitchen and continue her conversation with Mikoto.

Focusing on the bits and pieces of what she can hear they're talking about and _not_ on the toddler who's blinking curiously at her while holding a bottle in between his hands, Pochi twisted for a more comfortable position.

"Really? Isn't she quite young? My Itachi who's fourteen-months old only started speaking himself, how old is your daughter again?"

"Nine months"

"Oh. Isn't she your little genius?"

'Wait. Genius?' Pochi thought, dismayed. Dismissing her kaa-san's and Mikoto's conversation in favor of brooding about this new situation, Pochi turned over to the side not facing Itachi and contemplated about her choices.

Pochi doesn't really know the average amount of time ninja babies should advance but she didn't think her little stunt could once again gain her that accursed title. Although it does have its perks (her own brand of insanity was tolerated because of her sheer reputation before), she suffered suffocating stress and expectations at a young age from people who attributed her hard-work for mere talent - discarding the sheer amount of time she toiled to get that _damn_ results.

Children with the label genius are pushed too fast and too hard at their young age. It's the time for war, after all, and the village need all the tools they could get. Age is not an issue and soldiers are needed in order to make sure Konoha survives. Even with Konoha's supposed good reputation, they are not above utilizing children as canon fodder with pretty promises of will of fire, fame, and notoriety.

Heck. Even if the village isn't at war, prodigies are pushed to be the best that they can be in order to pacify egos and fulfill agendas for people who are too twisted and warped by time that their once good ideals were bent to suit their whims. The toddler beside her can attest to that. **Itachi**. A brilliant pacifist who was raised during 'peace-time' and yet, at thirteen, was forced to kill in order to _protectprotectprotect_ his brother from the horrors of a war because he loved him so _so_ much.

It must be noted however that contrary to her reaction about the playdate, Pochi didn't really dislike Itachi. Sure, she occasionally judged him for his poor life choices (For being a genius, he was an idiot for falling for Danzo and dark!Obito's plot. As a self-proclaimed pacifist, he should know that there would always be alternatives.) but she didn't _hate_ him. The only reason why she was so hesitant about this playdate in the first place is because Kakashi didn't think he could bear to look at the child he once failed. Logically, he knows he shouldn't blame himself but he couldn't stop thinking that he should have, could have noticed the signs or do a bunch of other things so that Itachi wouldn't suffer so much. But he _didn't_ and **shit** happened.

Moving on, Pochi was determined to make things right this time. She wouldn't fail to protect her precious people again - Itachi included -because even if she hated that freaking rabbit for putting her in this situation, she couldn't deny that she was grateful for the second chance. In order to get most of that second chance, she needs to have the influence and reputation she once had to make changes and ripples in the previous timeline and save some lives. Continuing on as she had before seems to be a pretty good idea - because no matter how distasteful she finds it to be, being a prodigy does have its perks and really, it's not about _her_. It's about _them._ This second life's for _them_ because she lived long enough, in the first place.

"Pretty~" Interrupting her thoughts, Pochi heard a distinctly high-pitched voice from her back. Turning around to finally get a good look at this time's baby Itachi, Pochi sweatdropped. Holding a strand of her hair in his hands (she wonders when he found the time to sit up), Itachi, with glittering onyx eyes, is looking at her in awe and wonder.

Patting her face clumsily while still holding a piece of her ridiculously long silver hair, the baby repeated, "Pretty."

Rolling away because Itachi's invading her personal space, Pochi tried to sit up and failed. Deflating at her pitiful attempt, she just scolded him in reply. "No! No droowing on my hair, 'Tachi"

Ignoring her response, Itachi crawled (she was _not_ jealous!) over to her closer and replied. "Name?"

"Pochi" she said resignedly. She tried rolling over again but she didn't get very far and Itachi holding her hair in his hand didn't help matters. She slapped the hands a little but it didn't budge. What a persistent brat.

Humming in reply, Itachi continued to play with her hair. Since he didn't drool at her hair though, she tolerated the action.

This was the scene their mothers found them into. It resulted to a lot of squealing from both women which made the babies wince at the loud noise.

Luckily, Pochi was spared from the gushing that she was sure would follow when a knock was heard. Looking at the door, Pochi glanced to give a look of gratitude to the new visitors but cringed when she saw there was another brat.

Sighing and closing her eyes at the clustercrap Pochi has for a new life, she decided that maybe sleeping would be the best choice for survival.

The idea became especially appealing when she heard the squeal of the four-year-old Shisui,

"Itachi-chama!" he said excitedly.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for the reviews in the last chapter. I appreciate the feedback.

Anyhoo, I'm kind of torn about what would my next update be. I want to start a new story along with this one but I'm still not sure what would be better. I would like to know your opinion. You can answer in a review or in the poll that I would post along this one in my profile. The choices are the following:

1\. Copy-nin No Death Note: Kakashi gets reborn as L's younger sister and proceed to muck up Death Note canon. A Naruto and Death Note crossover story.

2\. The War God's Daughter: Kakashi gets reborn as Ares' daughter. Watch as she wrecks havoc in Camp Half-Blood and be the general bad-ass she's known for in Konoha. A Naruto and Percy Jackson & The Olympians crossover story.

3\. Shokugeki no Kakashi: Kakashi gets reborn as another Nakiri in Shokugeki no Soma. Foodgasms at its finest. Lmao. A Naruto and Shokugeki No Soma crossover story.

4\. The Odds are Definitely Not in My Favor: Kakashi gets reborn as Katniss Everdeen's younger sister. When Katniss volunteered for Prim, Kakashi volunteered for Katniss. A Naruto and Hunger Games crossover story.

5\. Dawn: Kakashi gets reborn in Twilight as a passing female vampire that drinks human blood - albeit through blood banks - and drops into Forks and breaks Twilight canon. A Naruto and Twilight crossover story.

6\. Dreaming of Pochi?: What would happen if a canon-breaking time-traveler fem!Kakashi meet DOS Nara Shikako, the one who replaced Sakura's place in team seven? Chaos. Explosions. And a lot more canon-breaking, of course. Alternate future of 'I Didn't Expect This future.


	7. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 6

**Summary:** Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto's not mine.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 6:**

* * *

-I miss Gai-

* * *

-Weirdos: Uchiha Shisui's POV-

Uchiha Shisui is a very smart boy.

After all, everyone said so. Shisui's mommy, daddy, and every single one of his aunts, uncles, and cousins while pinching his cheeks (which _hurt_ a lot and didn't make sense much because those people have their own cheeks anyway. Why don't they pinch their _own_ cheeks for once?) told him that he's very intelligent and advanced for his age.

However, even without all those assurances and comments from everybody, Shisui knows that at three years old, he was quite exceptional. At the risk of sounding egotistical, Shisui could honestly say that he's different from everybody. He realized that, even within his clan, he's a riddle.

After all, a normal boy wouldn't - _shouldn't_ think about philosophical things at this age and worry about his existence. A normal boy would play ninja and laugh at silly things and wouldn't _wouldn't_ think about the masks he effortlessly wears in order to hide his real thoughts, judgments and reactions about certain issues and observations to people he cares about. About how _wrongwrongwrong_ it was to be like that - because isn't it a form of _lying_? _Smiling_ when he didn't really mean it? Laughing in order to _please_ others? Questioning -always _questioning_ \- about motives and what makes people tick and _using_ that knowledge to get what he wants.

Uchiha Shisui doesn't like himself much. He's _not normal_ , after all. Covering it up with smiles and giggles, nobody care enough to see what he is underneath. He couldn't connect with others properly as himself so he created a persona that _people_ would like because if they liked him, _he must be doing something right, right?_ He's _normal, see?_

However, even when he tried to convince himself that he's fine as he was surrounded by others, Shisui felt _lonely_. Its funny because he's _not_ alone but he's _lonely._ It went on like that for a _long_ time, until it all changed when he met Itachi-chama.

Itachi-chama is special. Shisui knows that at the start. He is such a weird child. With his unusually intelligent eyes and quiet demeanor, Shisui swore that Itachi could actually _understand_ what's going on around him even as an itty-bitty baby. However, even with (or maybe because of) these quirks, Shisui liked him. Shisui liked him very much because he felt like this baby can understand what he's going through. He didn't feel as lonely anymore because, strangely, he understood that with Itachi's existence, even though he's not normal, he's not alone in his weirdness.

After the training with his father (which was _difficult_ and he wanted to cry but _no one_ needs to know that), Shisui musters up the energy to act excited. Visits and play dates with the Itachi is what Shisui look forward to the most because he knows that these times would become rarer as he goes deeper through his training.

"Itachi-chama" Shisui squealed excitedly as he ran inside of the clan head's house, leaving his mother behind to chat with Mikoto-obaa. "I-"

Shisui abruptly halted when he saw a peculiar sight. Shisui knows that Itachi doesn't really like to interact with other babies during playdates. Itachi's usually quite reserved and preferred to be alone so Shisui was surprised when he encountered the sight of Itachi playing with the hair of an obviously disgruntled baby inside his crib.

"Shisi" Itachi greeted in reply. Waving his hands not holding the smaller baby's hair, Itachi smiled. "Come, Shisi. Look. Pretty."

'Eh' Shisui still momentarily stunned at the sight. Walking near the crib, Shisui tried not to laugh as he saw Itachi pester the smaller baby to crawl with him towards Shisui.

"Pochi" Itachi said in an exasperated voice. "Crawl. Shisi meet you."

Unexpectedly, the smaller baby adorably whined in reply. "No, 'Tachi. Me sweepy. Stop hwoding my hair. You go."

"No" Itachi stubbornly pouted. "Meet Shisi."

Scrunching his eyebrows and puffing his cheeks up, Itachi didn't even realize how the baby named Pochi was slapping his hand in irritation as he contemplated, in what Shisui interpreted to be, an acceptable compromise.

Shisui, however, noticed the action and bristled like a mama cat. Ignoring the fact that the smaller baby doesn't have much strength in the first place and the slap most likely didn't hurt, Shisui abruptly said. "Itachi. Come here, please."

Startled by the unusually sharp tone of his usually cheerful friend, Itachi let go of Pochi's hair and crawled towards Shisui.

"Shisi?" Itachi tilted his head, baffled.

Hand on his hips (that's how he saw kaa-san do it) and preparing to scold the smaller baby for her treatment of Itachi, Shisui's train of thought suddenly crashed when he got his first proper look at Itachi's new playmate. The baby was smiling at him so gratefully, it made Shisui melt at the sheer cuteness.

'Awww. So cute.' Shisui squealed inwardly as he saw Mochi-no _Pochi_ try to sit up and fail a bunch of times. 'Now, I understand why others pinch cheeks! Hers looks so puffy and round. I want to pinch hers too! Wait. I'm not supposed to think about that! What am I thinking about again?'

"Shisi!" Itachi tugging at his sleeves interrupted his thoughts. "What you doing? Wanna meet Pochi? She pretty."

"Eh?"

Crawling back to his playmate who finally was able to sit up and is wearing a faintly victorious expression, Itachi clumsily grasped the blue onesie Pochi's wearing and proceeded to drag her towards Shisui. The action made her fall on her face again. Deflating at the fact that she has work hard to sit up again, Pochi leveled an annoyed look at Itachi's continuous badgering.

"Wet go, 'Tachi." Pochi replied to Itachi, scowling. When she got no response back, Pochi continued. "Me meet Shiswi, okay? Have an idea."

After a few moments of intense staring from both babies, Shisui watched Itachi reluctantly comply with her wishes, let go of the scrunched onesie, and crawled back to Shisui. Pochi, on the other hand, with a long-suffering look on her face wriggled and squirmed until she's in the position she apparently deems acceptable, and _rolled over_ several times to reach Itachi and Shisui's spot.

This stunt was met with raucous laughter from the adults who Shisui didn't notice were actually still there. He was too preoccupied with Itachi and his new friend that he forgot his **manners**.

To immediately rectify the issue, he bowed and smiled sheepishly. "Ah. Gomenasai Mikoto-obaa, Shizuka-baa. Good morning."

"Maa, Shisui-kun. I'm sure you're just excited to meet your friend." Shizuka-baa said warmly. "My Pochi's getting frustrated though. After all, she exerted much effort to greet you and you didn't even notice."

Glancing back at the pair whose now seated with one another side by side, Shisui watched as Itachi adopted a serious look in his face as he realized that he got Shisui's attention back and said formally. "Pochi, this Shisi. Shisi, this Pochi."

Humoring Itachi, Shisui bowed and held his hand out to Pochi to shake hands with. "Nice to meet you, Pochi"

Pochi, however, just look at him with an impassive expression on her face. Several moments pass, his hand is getting tired when she finally replied, "Did you sway somethin', Shiswi?"

Shisui faceplanted. Looking oddly disappointed with his reaction, Pochi smiled and grasped the hands he offered to her in a firm grip.

Itachi, who must have felt left out while just watching, leaned on Pochi's small body and reached forward to play again with Pochi's silver locks.

Feeling curious himself, Shisui asked hopefully. "Can I play with your hair too?"

Pochi just sighed resignedly and nodded.

Mikoto-baa helpfully picked up Shisui and put him inside the unusually large crib.

And they spent the whole afternoon basking in each other's company, with Shisui feeling like he finally found the second person who's as weird as him.

* * *

-Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Yaseppochi's POV-

'This is tiring.' Pochi thought sadly as she was used as the heater for two toddlers. 'My hair's tangled from these two playing tirelessly on my hair and my tongue's twisting in knots by the huge effort I exerted in speaking today in a somewhat understandable manner.'

Pochi detested the lisp, though. She's lucky she's cute enough to pull it off but she got to remedy that quickly.

Wriggling a bit in order to avoid Shisui's drool, Pochi sighed ruefully.

'Kami, even Gai's constant challenges are better than this.'

Shaking her head in an attempt to stop the influx of memories from the once blasphemous thought, Pochi halfheartedly groaned inwardly as she remembered Gai's sunset's genjutsu, what youth! routine, challenges, and green jumpsuit. She also briefly wondered if its possible to get more insane in the first place but discarded the idea as useless, since she _can't freaking do something about it anyway_.

Pochi once again sighed.

'I miss Gai'

* * *

 **A/N:** Lmao. I feel like this chapter is rushed. I'm not sure how to portray Shisui exactly and I'd like to know if you liked how he was portrayed in this light because, honestly, I'd like to think that he's as smart and conflicted as Itachi though he hid it a lot better with hyperactivity and smiles. Anyhoo, I'm glad that some liked my ideas for a new story and rest assured **I will make all of them** \- although the sequence it would be uploaded would depend on the votes. I'd like to clarify though that Kakashi wouldn't take any of the canon characters spot. I have a vague plan on everything already and I would most likely post two weeks from now.

Concerning, 'The Odds are Definitely in My Favor' plot, I don't want Kakashi to be as young as Prim so I just inserted him in the story because I would also like to briefly introduce romance in that part. Not with Peeta though, lol. Just look forward to it, I guess.

And to the reviewers asking if alternate!Kakashi exists, then yes he does. I'm actually looking forward to writing Pochi and alternate!Kakashi's time together. It would be soon though.

Anyhoo, thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. The guest reviewers are much appreciated although I can't really pm them or something. I'm gonna busy for the next few days though so I'm not sure when I can update this.


	8. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 7

**Summary:** Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto's not my property.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 7:**

* * *

-I meet Rin-

* * *

Uchiha Yaseppochi is tired.

She's not even one yet Pochi can't help but feel like an old man already. (In hindsight, the thought is understandable since she was previously a grown man before but that's not the point!) Obito haven't even find the time to visit _her_ for the past two weeks. Aside from that, Pochi's stuck playing with two stupidly energetic toddlers who (like kaa-san!) couldn't freaking take the hint.

After her first playdate with the two, she slept like a log because her pudgy body can't handle the strain she subjected it into. Considering her age, the effort she exerted is nothing short of herculean (and was actually only made possible because of her inborn stubbornness) when Pochi forced herself to speak in mostly coherent sentences, sit with Itachi, and roll over so many times to greet Shisui.

Since it obviously took a toll on her (her mother was thankfully not dense enough to realize that Pochi's tired and gave her a few days to recover), she then resolved, after much thinking (which was sadly not _much_ because baby brain sucks), to interact with the two toddlers as little as possible. Although her new body's well-being is a part of that decision, Pochi's blunt enough to admit to herself that her overall social-awkwardness and impaired emotional quotient as Kakashi primarily pushed her to take this path.

Not that it did her any good.

It was proven immediately that this course of action was futile when the plans she, once again, magically pulled out of her ass were mercilessly rebutted by the two gifted shits. Yep. Shits. Her mind has no filter as of late and baby brain or not, she's bitter at the fact that two _kids_ managed to combat the plans of a once _ANBU captain_ no matter how half-assed they seem to be.

She tried sleeping (they freaking dog-piled on her, the heck), occasionally nodding (who knew Itachi was such a chatterbox when he was a kid? Dang, he was pushy with replies), being antagonistic (Shisui tattled on her, the sneak!), and farting like crazy (they laughed and farted along much to her disappointment) but sadly none worked. The two actually turned her own plans to their own advantage and forced her to interact with them even more. Even with the downtime her tou-san convinced her mother to give Pochi, she still feels drained - though admittedly her body's slowly getting used to the workout.

And speaking of those two,

"Pochi!" Itachi burbled to her happily on the floor. Shisui, immediately hearing the cry, looked at the door and ran at their direction. To avoid being left out, Itachi followed clumsily with a diligent crawl.

Her mother seems to be under the impression that Pochi likes being around her new _'friends'_ so they always come by every other day to the clan-head's house. How her kaa-san get that idea, Pochi doesn't have a clue. She's not slacking on the pouting and the puppy-eyes jutsu but it's terribly not working.

Targeting a pleading look to her kaa-san and silently saying to pretty _please_ NOT let her down, Pochi whimpered pitifully as her mother misinterpreted her look with a smile and met the toddlers halfway to their journey.

"Hello, Shisui-kun, Itachi-chan." her mother said warmly. "It has only been two days but I see you're excited to play with Pochi again. She's excited to meet you too!." Lies! Where the heck does her mother get the idea? Seriously? "However, you must remember that she's smaller than the two of you so you should be careful, okay?"

Ignoring the serious look the two toddlers adopted and not finding it the least strange that her mother expects the two babies to understand what she's saying, Pochi grudgingly smiled back when she saw how elated the two babies are as she was put down to a blanket near them. Absentmindedly noting how her mother left them to their own devices to seat herself next to Mikoto-san, Pochi greeted them back to be polite.

"Let's explore today, Pochi." Shisui said excitedly.

"Un." Itachi agreed. Crawling closer to Pochi, he proceeded to play with her fluffy silver hair and got comfortable.

"But she can't crawl, Shisui." Itachi's mother interjected lightly. "She's younger than you so she can't do it yet."

Shooting the clan-head's wife a grateful look, Pochi relaxed at the thought of a break but was dismayed at the next words out of Shisui's mouth.

"We'll just teach her, Mikoto-baa. Right, Itachi-chama?" Shisui smiled brightly.

"Hn."

"I dun wanna" Shaking her head, Pochi laid on the blanket and closed her eyes. She's sure their dog-pile trick wouldn't work this time because Mikoto-san and kaa-san are supervising.

"But Pochi-chan this is for you. Don't you want to explore too?" Shisui said determinedly. "Come on, sit up."

"No. No. No. No."

Seeing the pout in Shisui's face, Itachi intervened at the situation and replied, "Pochi. Listen to Shisi, 'kay?"

"No 'Tachi. Sweep is better."

"No. Pochi, come on. We nap all the time. Get up." Tugging at Pochi's onesie, Itachi waited for her to relent but she's stubbornly not giving in this time. Nope. Not a chance in hell.

"Pochiiii" whined Shisui as he sat down on the other side of Pochi, poking her chubby cheeks.

She tried holding out for several minutes but the two brats are testing her patience. Itachi's joining in the poking her chubby cheeks brigade with Shisui and, although it has a lot of baby fat to cushion the pokes, their hands are still rough. Relenting a bit because Pochi doesn't want to commit murder at such a young age, Pochi resignedly decided to negotiate.

"Shiswi, 'Tachi. No explowing but I'll twy to crawl, 'kay?"

"But Pochiiiiii, that's not-" Shisui replied abruptly, unsatisfied.

Interrupting Shisui, Itachi tugged on Shisui's hand and said seriously. "Shisi, Pochi's kaa-san said that Pochi's small so she tired."

Sobering up a bit, Shisui decided to give Pochi some space and nodded. Looking at both of her expectantly, Pochi sweatdropped at their expectant faces and proceeded to sit up. She got a lot of practice with the current playdates so it only took her two tries(!) before she did it properly.

Decidedly smug at overcoming the first challenge, Pochi crouched and tried to move forward. However, it proved to be too arduous for her when she all but fell flat with a loud smack on her face. It hurt a bit (and the sound it emitted was actually kind of impressive) but with smarting pride and great determination, she **pushed** herself up again and _crawled_.

Studiously ignoring the fact that her version of a crawl is like of a pitiful worm at best, Pochi, who was smiling so hard that it hurt, felt so warm at the proud whoops and claps from her audience that its ridiculous. Although Pochi knows that its absurd to feel so accomplished for such a little thing (especially since she'd done more awe-inspiring things as Kakashi), she ignored the proper decorum that's expected from a messed-up _grown_ time-traveler and basked in her mother's as well as friends' (because even though they're both brats they crawled their way into her heart, dammit) praise and presence.

'Besides, it wouldn't be a harm if I enjoy something like this from time to time, right? I am a kid now, after all'

* * *

After the playdate, feeling drained because the two kids have somehow convinced her to crawl with them around the living room, Pochi wriggled for a more comfortable position in her kaa-san's arms as they went on their way home. She wants to sleep because keeping up with Itachi and Shisui is hard work. Its kind of like dealing with Gai, but more taxing since she doesn't have her Icha-Icha on hand to divert her attention.

'Ah Icha-Icha. How long has time passed without you in my arms?' Pochi thought sleepily as she was lulled into drowsiness by her mother's motions. 'How I missed screwing with people's heads left and right as I -'

"POCHI-CHAN" a loud voice suddenly yelled out, breaking Pochi from her train of thoughts.

"Shh, Obi. You woke the baby."

"Ehehe, Gomen gomen -"

'Ah. Obito's here!' Pochi thought randomly, not hearing what came next out of Obito's mouth since she's still tired even with Obito's boisterous call. Her eyes is struggling to open but she can just imagine Obito scratching the back of his head clumsily. 'I need to smack him for making me wait. Tch. I missed him too. I wonder if I can con him in giving me an Icha-Icha.'

Noticing that they were now nearer to Obito and his companion when their voices became clearer, Pochi tensed as she heard the word 'Rin-chan'. Hoping that fate didn't throw her a curve ball again (she's not ready yet, _please_ ), she hesitantly opened her eyes and widened at the sight of Team Minato sans Kakashi.

Drinking in the sight like a starving man, Pochi felt her heart twist when Rin came closer and asked her kaa-san to carry her. Absentmindedly noting the pleasantries her kaa-san and Minato-sensei exchanged as she was passed to Rin, Pochi, trembling, didn't hear the coos from her old teammates and instead lifted up her hand to touch _her_ face.

It excruciatingly _hurt_ to see Rin's face again because _he_ _killedkilledkilled **her** and it's all his fault._ Giving in to her emotions, Pochi cried her eyes out, sobbing _heart-brokenly_ as she repeatedly say one word until her voice is hoarse and she passes out much to the surprise of everyone.

"Sorry _._ **Sorry** _.Sorry, Rin."_

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm not sure if this chapter is too abrupt or something. Meh. I suck at this. Anyhoo, I think I'll post the first chapters of A War God's Daughter next week since I want it longer than this one and much more fast-paced.

Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites though, I really do appreciate that people seem to like where this is going and I'll try my best to serve lmao.


	9. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 8

**Summary:** Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto's not my property.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 8:**

* * *

-I realize that this second life possibly can't get any stranger-

* * *

'Tch. This is pathetic.' Uchiha Yaseppochi thought bitterly as she blearily woke up from her crying jag.

'I'm better than this for kami's sake. I'm a freaking grown-ass man who have had too many mistakes and failures to atone for. This shouldn't be new for me. Rin's death is not even the worst in my long list of sins. Although it affected me the most, I've done much worse as an ANBU captain in the name of the village. _Killing_ , _breaking_ and _torturing_ the _undeserving_ with the poor excuse that I'm doing this to serve and protect-'

Scrunching her nose she continued, 'But that's not the point. Seeing them - Obito, Rin, and Minato-sensei alive, happy, and whole shouldn't hurt this much. It shouldn't _shouldn't_ but... it did. Especially when I saw Rin. Rin's different than Obito because I personally _killed_ her - my teammate, part of my family, **pack**. It felt like a punch in the gut to see her again because she's a better person than I am by such a large margin that it's not even funny. She didn't deserve to die and when I killed her - _failed_ her and Obito, I can't help but break down. Maybe its just my girly baby brain that's causing this but dammit I can't help it. After her death, things started to go down the drain and I can't freaking do anything but watch, even with all my supposed genius, as all of my comrades - the _ones left of my precious people broke and died_. I can't fix them. I can't do anything. I _can'tcan'tcan't_. I can't even if I want to because _I'm broken myself. I don't know how to pick up the pieces dammit._ '

Pochi hadn't even realized she was sobbing again until strong arms lifted her out of her crib and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Shh. It's okay, Pochi. It's okay. You're going to be fine." A soft pleasant baritone said while rocking her gently. Hesitantly opening her eyes, she sobbed even harder as she focused on her previous sensei's face.

"I'm so sworry." Pochi cried pitifully. She doesn't want her first reunion with her sensei to be like this so she persevered to stop her sobs. However, Pochi haven't quite succeeded yet in silencing her hiccups. "'s awl my fault"

Minato hums thoughtfully. "Why are you saying sorry, Pochi-chan? Did you do anything bad?"

"Yesh." she hiccuped.

Surprised by the answer, Minato looked at her contemplatively. Ignoring the calculating look in one of her precious people's eyes, she relaxed into his hold and leaned her head on his chest.

Pochi doesn't really care at the moment what her previous sensei's thinking about. What matters is that he's there and he wouldn't leave anytime soon if she has anything to say or do about it.

"Ah. Minato? Is Pochi awake now?" Her father said softly, appearing out of nowhere all of a sudden. "Do you want me to take her from you?"

Curling her hands in Minato's gray vest, Pochi looked over to her father and said stubbornly, "No. Not yet, tou-san. Ish warm here."

Minato huffed amusedly at Pochi's reply and nodded reassuringly to Pochi's father. "Maaa it's okay, Akira. Pochi's not that fussy anyway. However, she is oddly advanced for her age. How old is she again?"

Her tou-san looked oddly bereft for a moment at Minato's reply. Nonetheless, he answered proudly. "She's 9 months old. It's surprising at first but we just chalked it up to the genes she got from us. Kami knows there must be something in the water here with the number of geniuses in our clan. Don't even get me started on my wife's side of the family because that would just be unfair."

'Wait, kaa-san's side of the family?' Pochi thought momentarily surprised. 'I didn't know any prodigy or titles from kaa-san's clan before. Heck, I didn't even know there was a Mami clan in the first place. I didn't think of it much at first since there are many clans like that in Konoha but, I wonder...'

Shaking her head and tuning in at the conversation, she was able to catch her father make admittedly adorable but pitiful excuses to carry her.

Taking pity on the poor guy, Pochi refrained from whining too much when Minato-sensei passed her to her tou-san with an entertained look on his face. The poor man obviously wants to spend more time with her since he's currently bogged down with missions and responsibilities for months. Although Pochi doesn't exactly know what his father's rank or duties are, it's plainly taking a toll on him. It's evident in his fatigued eyes, burgeoning wrinkles, and tensed shoulders.

Feeling strangely guilty because she's been too wrapped up with her playmates for the past few days and haven't spared the time to think about her father, Pochi clumsily patted her father's cheek. "There, there. I still wuv you, tou."

Pochi swore the answering smile on her father's face at that instant could rival the sun.

* * *

-Connections: Nohara Rin's POV-

When Obito-kun asked them to meet his 'Akira-nii' and 'Shizuka-nee' after training, Nohara Rin immediately agreed.

For the past few weeks, they were all he talks about whenever they were doing D-ranks or after training. Rin knows that Obito doesn't exactly have a great relationship with most of his clan on account of his unawakened Sharingan so she's curious about this couple who seems to be dear in her best-friend's heart.

Although its disappointing that Kakashi-kun abruptly declined the offer even without hearing in full what Obito has to say, she's still looking forward to to the visit. Rin's getting used to Kakashi's antics and she can respect his decision. She's just glad that her new teammate have the presence of mind not to insult the couple in front of Obito. Rin's not sure if she can survive the training that would come out of that if she haven't managed to mediate the fight. She's sure that even Kakashi wouldn't want to tempt fate and exacerbate Minato-sensei's closet sadist tendencies greater.

Shuddering at the surge of memories about _crawling_ , cheerful laughing and horrifyingly energetic blue eyes, Rin decided to forget the last tortur- _ahem_ training sessions to avoid insanity.

Anyway where was she...Ah, yes. Besides, she loves kids and she heard from Obito that the couple have a particularly cute one- the cutest one he's ever seen, in fact.

* * *

Rin swears she didn't to anything wrong.

It started pleasantly, at first. Obito was greeting Shizuka-san loudly and Rin was good-naturedly scolding him for waking the baby. Afterwards, she asked for permission to carry the baby because Obito-kun's right - the baby really is exceptionally cute!

However, once she got Pochi (that's what Obito called her) in her arms, the baby touched her face with a sorrowful look in her too-intelligent eyes. It was unnerving. The continued sorrys that followed combined with wretched crying didn't help matters as the sobs simultaneously broke her heart and freaked her out.

Rin can still feel the accusing look her best-friend uncharacteristically gave her when she nervously passed Pochi again to her mother's arms when the baby passed out from crying.

* * *

When they were all invited inside the couple's house and exchanged pleasantries, Rin was quiet and just listened as Obito narrate his adventures for the past few weeks. She's still shaken by what happened earlier and she couldn't get the infant's expression out of her mind.

'I wonder why. I know we haven't met before because I would surely have recognized her so why? Why is-' Rin brooded sadly.

"Rin-chan." A sweet voice interrupted her brooding. "Penny for your thoughts."

"Eh?" Rin was surprised. She wasn't that obvious, wasn't she? Glancing at the warm eye-smile the woman gave her, Rin smiled sheepishly. "Gomenasai, Shizuka-san. I'm being rude aren't I?"

"Of course not. You shouldn't blame yourself, you know. It's not your fault."

Faltering at how easy the woman read her, Rin looked down at her lap and twisted her fingers anxiously. "But why did Pochi look like that? Why did she apologized so profusely at me earlier?"

"Yes. We would like to know that too." Minato-sensei said smoothly as he walked in the living room followed by a man (that must be Obito's Akira-nii) holding Pochi in his arms.

"Pochi?" Akira-san prompted her daughter, making Rin feel befuddled again. Do they expect the baby to actually explain what happened? Isn't she too young for that?

As everyone intently focused on the baby's reply, Rin feels oddly left out and sweatdropped. Is something supposed to happen?

To her surprise, Pochi took a deep breath before replying cheerfully with a twinkle in her eye. "Obi-nii's fault."

Obito, who was intently listening, faceplanted. "Eh?! Why Pochi-chan?" Rin relaxed and inwardly laughed at Obito's distinctly betrayed look. " I didn't do anything!"

"Cause you're wate Obi-nii and made Rin-nee mad before." The baby crossed her arms and puffed up her cheeks. "Ish all my fault cause I'm too cute."

All of them sweatdropped at the dubious answer and Rin wondered if this is the manifestation of Obito-kun's influence. There was a moment of awkward silence and Rin marveled at the comical cricket sound she somehow hears as a background music.

Coughing pointedly in order to change the subject, Minato-sensei addressed Pochi warmly. "Since we're off at a bad start, why don't we introduce ourselves Pochi-chan? I'm Namikaze Minato, the jounin-sensei of your Obi-nii and Rin-nee."

Rin hesitated for a moment but stood up and moved closer to Pochi. "I'm Rin-nee, Pochi-chan. I'm your Obi-nii's teammate. I hope we can be friends too."

Pochi visibly softened and smiled brightly- showing twin dimples in her chubby cheeks.

"Awwwww! Kami! You're so cute." Rin squealed while pinching the baby's cheeks.

"What about your third teammate, Obito-kun? You didn't mention anything about him/her while your talking earlier." Shizuka-san questioned the sulking boy in the corner.

"Hmmm? What teammate?" Obito said obliviously.

"Obito-kun?" Minato-sensei sweetly smiled. Rin shivered at the unsaid warning and hoped that Obito have enough common sense to tread carefully.

Scratching the back of his head, Obito replied. "My third teammate's a teme, Shizuka-nee! His name's Hatake Kakashi and just because he's chuunin he acts all high and mighty. I actually tried to invite him today but he already left before I can get a word in otherwise."

Rin immediately tensed at the brief killing intent that leaked out of Pochi's mother. The foreboding feeling she got worsened when she caught the sharp grin on what now appears to be a very very dangerous kunoichi.

"Kakashi-kun, huh?" Shizuka-san purred. "Why don't you invite him next time? Mention my name, will you Obito-kun? Say that his oba-san, Shizuka, wants to see him again, ne? It's been so long after all. Tell him if he didn't come next time, there will be consequences."

Rin didn't blame the fact that Obito looked like his gonna pee in his pants then and there. She would have too.

She also absentmindedly noted if she's the only one who noticed the horrified look out of Pochi-chan when Kakashi-kun was mentioned. Somehow, Rin just knows that even with all of Kakashi's skill, he can't get out of this one.

* * *

 **A/N:** I don't know if I can post War God's Daughter today or tomorrow because I have many things to do right now. Lmao. I'd love to know what you think about this chapter. Suggestions and advice are appreciated. :)


	10. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 9

**Summary:** Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto's is not in any way or form my property.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 9:**

* * *

-I try to freak out Kashi-nii-

* * *

-Family: Alternate!Hatake Kakashi's POV-

Today was supposed to be a _good_ day.

After all, Hatake Kakashi finished his morning exercises excellently, made considerable progress in the new ninjutsu technique Minato-sensei showed him and his teammates the other day, and wasn't bothered by Gai for one of their so called 'competitions' as eternal rivals (yet). The miso soup with eggplant from an Akimichi-owned restaurant he just ate on the way to the training grounds was also exquisitely delicious. The food alone could assure Kakashi that this day couldn't possibly be bad.

Oh, how _wrong_ he was.

* * *

Ambling towards training ground 3, Kakashi tensed when he realized that he was the last of his team to arrive. He was surprised, although he outwardly remained calm, because Obito's usually late and seeing him _early_ is oddly unnerving.

"Minato-sensei. Rin. Obito." Kakashi greeted dispassionately. Situating himself near Minato-sensei, he nonchalantly continued. "Obito. It's surprising that you remembered the shinobi rules today without making your usual set of stupid excuses to make up for your lack of intellectual capabilities. What happened?"

Obito bristled at his comment. Seeing nothing wrong about what he said since he's honestly just curious, he ignored Minato-sensei's admonishing look and glanced at Obito expectantly.

"What did you say, Bakakashi?" Obito shouted indignantly.

Rolling his eyes at the childish nickname, Kakashi replied."I thought you're just dumb. I didn't know you're deaf too. I'm asking what happened, Uchiha. You're usually this bumbling fool who's always late without-"

"I'm not a bumb- bubling argh, teme. I'm not always late and besides, I don't make dumb excuses. Stop using big words. It doesn't suit you anyway. Right, Rin-chan?"

Rin startled and looked distinctly uncomfortable at being put in the spot. Smiling sheepishly, she replied. "Ah. Obi's not a fool Kakashi-kun. He's talented in his own way too."

Noting that Rin didn't mention anything to defend the lateness and the excuses, Kakashi smirked under his mask smugly. Obito, realizing the same thing, deflated.

"The lateness? Excuses?" Obito prompted.

Rin scratched her cheeks, hesitating. Speaking as kindly as possible, she continued. "Gomen, Obito-kun. Although Kakashi-kun's a bit harsh, he's kind of right. You really are always late. It's been the same since the academy too."

Ignoring the pathetic kicked-puppy look on Obito's face, Kakashi shot his sensei a questioning glance. Minato tried to reply but was interrupted by Obito's grudging interjection.

"Teme. Shizuka-nee invited you to visit her soon. She seems really eager to meet you because she said there would be consequences if you didn't."

For several minutes, Kakashi froze and looked increasingly horrified as Obito's words sank in. Disconcerted with his reaction, his teammates decided to let him be and started training.

* * *

"Ne, Minato-sensei. Is something wrong with Bakakashi? Did I break him?" Obito asked Minato curiously as he went on his taijutsu katas.

"Obi." Rin scolded. "You can't break Kakashi-kun. He's not a toy."

"But he really looked like he broke, Rin-chan."

"Just get on with your training, Obito-kun." Minato said exasperatedly.

* * *

After going through the motions and finishing today's mandatory D-rank mission, Kakashi immediately ran home to change with a distracted farewell to his team. From his experience, he knows that the consequences Shizuka-baa prepared wouldn't be pretty so he's visiting as soon as possible. He learned his lesson before and he's not looking forward to going through _that_ again.

One word. **Tomatoes**. Damn tomatoes.

Kakashi still can't get over what happened up to this day.

Shuddering and burying the memory in the deepest, darkest parts of his mind, Kakashi proceeded to walk to Shizuka-baa's home (albeit slowly because he's not anticipating the tongue-lashing that would surely greet him first). He haven't been able to visit for the past few months because of the amount of missions he was in as chuunin. The training he subjected himself into didn't help either.

Kakashi feels kind of guilty, to be honest. The reaction surprised him at first because he doesn't feel anything much nowadays. _(The war. The nightmares. The blood.)_ He got over it quickly enough since he rationalized that its acceptable to feel like that about his only living relative.

In the eyes of the public, he's officially the last of the Hatake clan in Konoha. However, it's not common knowledge that there's another one and that's Mami Shizuka or who's now currently known as Uchiha Shizuka nee Mami.

Uchiha Shizuka nee Mami is his mother and father's cousin so she's Kakashi's aunt in both sides of the family. Her father is from the Mami clan and her mother is from the Hatake clan. She's the one who actually introduced his parents to one another so, ever since he was a kid, Kakashi vaguely remembers her visiting their house once in a while. She looks ridiculously like his mother that they can almost pass as twins although the signature silver hair of the Hatake clan set her apart. Shizuka-baa stopped coming for a while when kaa-san died. Kakashi guessed its because she doesn't want to make tou-san remember so he forgot her as time passed.

Kakashi thinks that's stupid because when Shizuka-baa came by, its _too late_.

It strained their relationship before it even began.

Kakashi, admittedly, appreciated his aunt's persistence of reaching out to him. For the past 3 years, the bond was somewhat mended or as mended as a bond could be between them. Her continuous efforts have softened his heart enough that he considers her as one of his family and pack. Although there were some fights here and there, they both reached a compromise time after time.

The last Kakashi saw her was when she was pregnant with her daughter. Shizuka-baa was really unreasonable during his visit so Kakashi immediately left afterwards. He wanted to protest about the planned name because it seems like his aunt inherited the horrible naming sense of his parents (seriously, the thing with _scarecrows_ should stop) but he's wise enough not to voice his opinion in front of an obviously hormonal woman. The tomatoes in his aunt's hands is warning enough and, even at his age, he knows how to look underneath the underneath. Akira-san, the man his aunt married, is claiming that its just cravings when Kakashi subtly asked but **he knows better**.

Blinking a bit in confusion, Kakashi realized that he's already in front of Shizuka-baa's house. Gathering his courage, he walked up to the door and knocked.

"Shizuka-baa." Kakashi called out.

* * *

-Uchiha Yaseppochi's POV-

Someone knocked.

Uchiha Yaseppochi ignored it at first in favor of napping. Her mother's response at the knock, however, shook her awake.

"Is that you Kakashi-kun? Please, come in. My hands are quite full so I can't open the door for you." her kaa-san shouted cheerfully from the kitchen.

"Kakashi-kun?" Pochi repeated, tilting her head in confusion.

'Is kaa-san looking for me?' Pochi thought baffled. 'Did I miss something or what?'

Sitting up and holding her chin with her chubby fingers in contemplation, Pochi tried to remember what happened. She knows she didn't say anything about her previous name the other day. Pochi wonders what's going on.

Pochi leaned back on her crib abruptly when she hit her head at the bars.

'Oh. I remember now. Obito said Kakashi-kun.' Pochi thought happily. 'Wait. What?!'

Closing her eyes in concentration, Pochi finagle one of her intentionally forgotten memories and inwardly cried out in despair.

'Kakashi-kun. Who the hell is Kakashi-kun?' Pochi thought hysterically as she finally connected all the dots in an uncharacteristically slow manner. 'Damn. How in kami's name is this even possible? Shouldn't there be a paradox or something? Am I gonna go boom? I'm not even one yet!'

A sigh of relief from the door interrupted her thoughts. Preparing for the worst as "Kakashi-kun" entered the house carefully, Pochi hide her face in her hands in panic. (This plan was brilliantly created with the 'if she can't see him, then he can't see her' logic. Don't judge. That's what babyhood do to people.)

(On another note, the creaking of the hinges should really be brought to her parent's attention next time. Her nerves are shot by the slo-mo effect dammit.)

Sensing what must be "Kakashi-kun's" presence in front of her, Pochi reluctantly peeked between her hand and looked at her previous self warily.

'Was I really that short? I wonder why I even have fangirls?' Pochi distantly mused. 'Besides, I look really stupid with my mouth gaping like that. I wonder why my previous self's gaping. It honestly looks weird.'

A few moments passed and after a bit of awkward silence, Pochi hesitantly hypothesized that maybe nothing would go boom. Remembering her previous stuck-up and arrogant self, Pochi decided to play with the poor boy for interrupting her nap.

Holding her arms in the universal 'pick-me-up' gesture, Pochi looked at "Kakashi-kun" expectantly. Her alternate self, who thankfully now have his mouth closed, looked at her strangely before he got her meaning. Looks like she's not the only one who's experiencing a slow day today.

"No." The brat replied firmly.

Giving him her puppy-dog-eyes jutsu, Pochi tried again. However, much to consternation, he wasn't even looking at her so it's not very effective.

Since Pochi's arms are getting tired, she changed strategies. Taking on a decidedly mischievous look, she instead took a page from Shisui the Tattler's book. "Kaa. Oldy dun want to cwarry me. Kaa. Kaa."

Spluttering at her nickname for him, "Kakashi-kun" glared at Pochi darkly.

'The brat's trying to intimidate her, huh.' Pochi thought bemusedly. 'Let's see about that.'

"Kaa. Kaa." Pochi sniffled, forcing her eyes to look teary. "Kaa."

Her retaliation was extremely effective. Pochi's alternate self looked panicked for a moment before deflating in defeat. When Pochi reached her arms out again, Kakashi reached out to her and carried her clumsily.

Ignoring the discomfort from the somewhat incorrect hold, Pochi ditched the teary look and focused on her previous self's eyes. Heeding her whimsical mood, Pochi said somberly. "You hafta 'member, oldy. Those who bweak the wules are twash. But those who abawndon tweir comwades are worse than twash."

"Kakashi-kun" looked unnerved for a moment. He started to speak but was interrupted by a squeal from kaa-san.

"Aww. Kakashi-kun, doesn't she look just like you?" her kaa-saan gushes happily. "I see you've met my daughter, Pochi. Pochi, here's Hatake Kakashi. He's your cousin so you should call him, Kashi-nii okay?"

Humoring her kaa-san, Pochi shot him a gummy smile and said adorably. "Kashi-nii ish oldy."

Her mother looked baffled for a moment before getting her from Kakashi's hold. Pochi, in the last ditch effort, for freaking her alternate self out pulled his mask down. Giggling at the bewildered look on her previous self's face, Pochi said happily. "You cute, Kashi-nii."

Her now Kashi-nii just blushes in reply.

* * *

-Alternate!Hatake Kakashi's POV-

Kakashi's doesn't know what to feel.

He knows he's emotionally stunted so this is his default mode but, this time, it felt different.

Kakashi can't suppress it like a good tool he was supposed to be and Shizuka-baa made it even worse when, after she put Pochi back in her crib and they proceeded in the kitchen, she didn't twist his ear as she was prone to do or gave him a scolding that he knows he deserves.

He can't shake off the feeling of foreboding though.

His instincts were right.

When he saw the tomato soup and tomato-based dishes, he tried not to cry like a baby and take it like a shinobi.

* * *

 **A/N:** A guest reviewer made a good point about the ages thing and I realize that my timeline is kind of messed up. To solve this issue, I edited some of the chapters and changed the ages. Currently, Pochi is 9 months old instead of 6. Itachi's 1 year and 2 months old. Shisui's 4 years old. Kakashi is 8 years old. Obito and Rin is 9 years old. I dunno if it fixed the advanced thing since the fanfics I've read always chalked it up to chakra. Lmao. I'm just gonna do the same thing.

The War God's Daughter would probably be posted tomorrow. I'm still not satisfied about the prologue, so yeah...

Anyhoo, thanks for the reviews, follows and faves. The faves nearing a hundred now so I'm quite happy. :)

Tell me what you think about the new chapter. Is Kakashi too OOC? Does it make sense? Lmao. I'd love to know what you think.


	11. Toddler Troubles - Chapter 10

**Summary:** Hatake Kakashi is reborn as a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto's not my property.

* * *

 **Toddler Troubles - Chapter 10:**

* * *

-I turn one-

* * *

Uchiha Yaseppochi is sulking.

Her kaa-san is very fussy today and, although Pochi appreciates the reminder of her cute former genin, a person can take only so much _pink_ in her life. Her kimono is pink. Her slippers is pink. Her ribbons is pink. Everything is _pink_. In shades and brightness, there's pink, _pink_ and **pink**.

She's honestly getting sick of that color.

After Kashi-nii's eventful visit, Team Minato, separately or by group, dropped by from time to time for the past few months. Pochi got used to seeing Rin, Obito and, even, Kashi-nii at least once a week. She enjoyed those visits dearly, especially those from her previous self, because during those get togethers, she get to enjoy her new passion aside from Icha-Icha - spending time with her precious people and needling her Kashi-nii to pieces.

No wonder Gai seems to target her previous self before. Heh. Kashi-nii's easily flustered and horrified. Her alternate self actually reminds her of Sasuke a bit. Or maybe it's the other way around? Meh. Whatever works. She'll probably go mad if she tried to make sense of everything so she'll let it go.

Or more mad, since it's already established since she's not exactly the most stable kunai in the drawer.

Moving on, Pochi already spent two weeks thinking about the possibilities and theories about the current paradox, and, honestly, her head hurts far too much from overthinking. She can't do it anymore. As she persisted to think about the reason for her existence, absurd thoughts would pop up from time to time as time passed by. She even went as far as to think that maybe her second life could be attributed to a piece of story created by a random teen from another dimension. How weird is that, right? Yeah, Pochi doesn't really know how she got this ideas sometimes.

Another thing to focus on would be Pochi's curious current relation with her previous self. She knows that she's actually the last Hatake from before so she's curious how her alternate self called her current kaa-san, Shizuka-baa. She would have chalked it up to her previous mother's relatives, and that's actually quite logical with the mask and all, but it's not completely right either. Her current kaa-san inherited the distinct silver hair of the Hatake clan. The assumptions about that one is actually kind of disturbing and she already compartmentalized the thoughts about it far _far_ from the surface.

Anyway, stumped by the current dilemma with the sharingan bunny's complex dimension-travelling seal as her most logical theory, Pochi decided to just make peace about what happened. Somewhat. Of course, she's still curious but there's nothing she can do now, _does she_?

At least she can walk now.

"Pochi. You pretty girl, come to kaa-san. We need to start the party after all." her kaa-san called out happily while holding out her hand.

And yes, its her birthday.

The though of being a year older in her second life is oddly fulfilling.

The good feeling vanished though when she promptly tripped because of her damn pink kimono.

Dammit.

Smoothly getting up again with a serene smile in her face, Pochi ignored the amused look on her kaa-san's face and followed the sound of laughter in their backyard.

* * *

Pochi lamented the mess her birthday turned into.

It's all that damn rabbit's fault.

* * *

Pochi was just innocently taking a break (a _break, kami_ _knows_ she freaking deserve one!) from the meet-and-greet torture her kaa-san subjected her into when she was pulled by a familiar glomp from none other than the Red Hot Habanero herself, Uzumaki Kushina.

"You're so cute, dattebane!" the redhead squealed in adoration. Cuddling Pochi close, Kushina said cheerfully. "Shizuka! Why didn't I meet this bundle of cuteness sooner?"

Adopting a pitiful look in her face, Pochi pleaded silently to Minato-sensei who was right behind the boisterous woman. The hug was tight and, as much as Pochi liked to be reacquainted with her former sister figure ( _oneofthepeopleshefailed_ ), she honestly can't breath. Much to Pochi's chagrin, however, the obviously lovesick man happened to be more enamored about the picture the two of them made (So predictable, his-er _her_ sensei was. The blush gave him away.) and didn't notice Pochi's distressed look.

Fortunately, her kaa-san (who previously tossed to her to _wolves_ earlier!) saved her from the ordeal. "Maa, Kushina-chan. Let go of my daughter first, will you? She's suffocating." her mother deadpanned. "Besides, you just returned from your latest mission. It's understandable that you wouldn't meet Pochi."

Kushina blushed in response and let go of Pochi's pink swaddled form sheepishly. Smiling brightly, she ducked down and introduced herself. "Ne, chibi. I'm Uzumaki Kushina, your godmother, dattebane. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Kushina-baa. Thank you for attending my birthday party today. I appreciate it very much." Pochi smiled adorably.

Kushina looked taken aback at the articulate reply. She glanced at Shizuka in puzzlement. "Are you sure she's just one year old, dattebane?"

"I'm sure." her kaa-san said in amusement.

"Kami. What does Uchihas feed to their babies? Tachi-chan's the same too and-"

"Pochi-chan!" Obito interrupted Kushina excitedly as he ran up to Pochi's side with Rin following closely behind. "Happy birthday! I got your present right here and Rin-chan helped too. I'm not late today because Rin-chan's with me and it's awesome youhaveto _openitnow_."

"Obito-kun." Rin said discreetly, elbowing Obito to get his attention. She smiled kindly and greeted the adults that Obito didn't notice in his excitement. "Shizuka-san. Kushina-nee. Minato sensei. Ohayo."

Obito blushed but followed suit in the greetings. Kushina, luckily, doesn't seem to be offended by the boy's interruption and instead hugged the two affectionately. Pochi was just grateful that she's not the one in their place because Kushina's love was kind of painful to have. They're turning _blue_ for kami's sake and Minato-sensei's just sighing like a fool (probably from all the fantasizing).

She idly wonders if Minato-sensei's a closet masochist.

This thought, horrifyingly, starts a lot of disturbing notions and several imagery, Pochi honestly can do without.

She's between analyzing if Minato-sensei is a dom or a sub when Obito, thankfully, snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Mochi. Pochi. Pochi-chan." Obito poked her cheeks comically. "Open my gift now. Rin-chan and I worked really hard to find it and it really really suits you."

Getting the hastily wrapped package Obito cheerfully handed out, Pochi said her thanks brightly. She resolved to immediately love the gift given to her whatever it may be since it's from _Obito_. The boy apparently thought out the gift with Rin, so _how bad could it be_?

...

Horrendously bad, in fact. It was so bad, Pochi can't help but curse the sheer nitwitness (if there is such a word) of his former teammate.

The _gift_. Dammit, the _gift_. Pochi hands twitched as her face probably took on an increasingly traumatized look. She inconspicuously tried to get it as far from her person as possible but Pochi found out that there wasn't any way, short of actually dropping the gift, to do that.

But why? _Why? Why? Why?_

Why does _fate_ , as the Hyuuga boy from her future aptly said (or something like that, at least), wants to fuck with him, now _her_ , so much?

Of all the gifts, why is it a freaking **bunny plushy** for kami's sake? It even looks the same as the one she saw on her walk to the Memorial Stone.

"It even has a Sharingan, look." Obito exclaimed, oblivious that he was exacerbating Pochi's dilemma. "It's really cool, ne? It's like its made for you, Pochi-chan, since you're really adorable like a bunny but strong because you're an Uchiha."

Pochi contemplated crying or screaming at the irony. She would love to murder and tear apart the rabbit plushy in her hands bit by bit for her own satisfaction but the thought of Obito's hurt face stayed her hand.

"Ne. Do you like it Pochi-chan?" Obito bounced excitedly. "Ne?"

Pochi gulped down the curses she wanted to spat out and said strainedly. "I- I like it, Obi-nii. Fu-er _thank_ you."

"Aww. It suits you, Pochi-chan." Kushina, who was previously catching up with her mother, commented. Glomping Pochi again, she continued. "It makes you a hundred times cuter, dattebane."

Pochi doesn't even resist. Partly because of the sheer tightness of the hug but mostly due to the blasphemous plushy she was given, she fainted in Kushina's arms bonelessly.

* * *

Pochi's now hiding from the mess and curled up in a miraculously isolated spot in the house.

She knows that sooner or later, her kaa-san would badger her to continue with the hostess stint again so after waking up, Pochi proceeded to find an appropriate spot to brood (not _sulk_!) in silence.

Pochi tried not to be the emotionally-stunted vegetable she usually was just for today, for the benefit of her tou-san who she hasn't been able to see for the past few months because of his participation in the war. As much as she thinks fondly of the man, however, Pochi's already reached the end of her tolerance and no amount of effort could hasten the time she would need to adjust to the rabbit plushy affair.

It's all that damn rabbit's fault, really.

Damn _sharingan bunny_.

"Oi, Pochi-brat. Here." her alternate-self, Kashi-nii, appeared out of nowhere and interrupted her musings. Handing her a piece of cloth, the boy immediately _shunshin_ 'd out of the room, much to Pochi's surprise.

"What just happened?" Pochi muttered baffledly to no one in particular.

Inspecting the piece of cloth she was given, Pochi's pensive mood lifted when she realized that the piece of cloth was actually a _mask_. It's color black and feels surprisingly silky and soft to the touch. Realizing the thought behind the gesture, Pochi smiled brilliantly and laughed. Pochi didn't expect her past self to actually come to the party and give her a gift. She knows from experience how socially awkward and inept she was before so this was a pleasant surprise. It could be because her Kashi-nii was fed up with her fiddling with his mask so he brought her one but Pochi instinctively knows that's not the reason.

'Aww. Kashi-nii is such a tsundere. So uncute.' Pochi thought, amused.

Eagerly putting on the gift, Pochi snickered when she saw the henohenomoheji stamped inside the mask. Sighing at the feeling of rightness, she relaxed.

Her peace seemed to be short-lived, however, when her kaa-san appeared out of nowhere with her hands on her hips.

"Pochi." Her kaa-san said disappointedly. "I- wait. Where did you get that mask?"

"From Kashi-nii, kaa." Pochi eye-smiled.

Looking surprised at the answer, her mother softened visibly and carried the toddler in her hands. Muttering softly that Pochi almost didn't hear if she wasn't paying attention, her kaa-san eyes flashed mischievously. "What a waste. I guess Kakashi-kun dodged the tomato surprise, after all."

As they return back to their guests, Pochi tilted her head in confusion. 'Tomato surprise?'

'Kaa-san's being weird again.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Yo! Thanks for the reviews and stuff. I appreciate it.

To the guest reviewer though, I'm glad you liked the story and I honestly find this slow-paced too. I got drag down by fluffs and I already wrote a lot to change it all up. I'll try to hasten it a bit, though, so the expect the next chapters to tackle the timeline and make changes. Somewhat. Anyhoo, I think I'll post a companion fic of this one called Dreaming of Pochi. The AU of my AU, basically. To at least give an idea about the timeline and stuff.

Let me know what you think about the update. Check out the War God's Daughter too. Chapter 1 was already posted.


	12. Pre-Academy Drama: Chapter 11

**Summary** : Hatake Kakashi is reborn a girl in the Uchiha clan. Chaos ensues.

 **Disclaimer** : Naruto is not mine. No.

* * *

 **Pre-Academy Drama - Chapter 11:**

* * *

-I appreciate the powers of dango-

* * *

With sweat running down her brows, Uchiha Yaseppochi looked grimly triumphant as she finally completed her self-assigned morning regime.

Thank goodness, it's over.

After 3 years of lounging as a babe, Pochi's eager to train and improve her skills. It's kind of slow-going since her body was horribly out of shape but she can feel herself improving with everyday's a la Gai deluxe regimen. Of course, Pochi's mindful enough (sometimes) not to strain herself since there's also her parent's own training to take care of but she's eager- _impatient_ even to be back into service and change things.

Taking off her mask, she went inside her empty house quickly to change out of her sweaty clothes. Pochi can feel the stink wafting off her in fumes and a good shower would probably do her good. She spent the whole morning training, even with her mother's warning to take it easy on her exercise today as she left for one of her part-time jobs. Her kaa-san asked her to consider spending time with one of her "friends" instead, but Pochi became engrossed in working on her muscle memory and conditioning her current body as close to her previous body's flexibility, speed and strength as possible that she forgot the directive.

She's actually been forgetting a lot of directives this days.

'If my previous chibi self could see me now...' Pochi quirked a smile as she turned on the water. 'Chibi!Kakashi'll probably faint from the blasphemy his future self turned into.'

After a moment, the slight smile on her face faded as her body continued going through the motions. She didn't heed the discomfort her body felt as she continuously scrubbed, _scrubbed_ and scrubbed herself raw, her pale skin disturbingly red and sore from the harsh handling.

When blood eventually broke out from the scratched skin, Pochi suddenly stopped and just stared blankly- uncomprehending. For about a minute, she stood with water dripping down her body looking older and so so tired as the red liquid dripped down, down, down the drain.

She feels like scum.

'Such a bloody fuck-up.' Pochi thought bitterly. 'Three years old and already messed up beyond belief.'

She knows it's not healthy to revert back into the routine of training and training with no ends in sight. Heck, Pochi can practically hear her body shout and complain about the strain she subjected it into. But the pressure's getting her.

 _The pressure's getting to her._

Sighing, Pochi forced herself to snapped out of one of her damning moods and let the water wash away everything. Dwelling on the future would do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It doesn't matter that every single freaking day feels like torture. It doesn't matter how much of a excruciating blow it is to be constantly aware of the gap between her past and present physical capability. It doesn't matter how her current body is mocking her- _taunting_ her about the inevitability of the deaths of her precious people would experience since she can't fucking do anything with the way she is now.

It doesn't matter.

...Maa, who is she kidding?

 _Kami_. As months passed, time seems to go faster. Pochi can't help but falter a bit as her burden figuratively increases whenever her precious people drops by to see her. She can't help but buckle from the strain of knowing knowing the series of events and hardships that they would go through.

And that's not even including the worry she feels for her current parents.

Her kaa-san is working overtime at the hospital and part time in T&I (Torture and Investigations) while simultaneously taking care of Pochi's needs. Seriously. Her mother apparently inherited the Hatake stubbornness and pitiful self-care practices in spades. Pochi thinks it's a matter of time now before the woman would faint from exhaustion. Her mother's spreading herself thin and Pochi's sadly ill-equipped in convincing her kaa-san to stop and take a break. Pochi suspects that her kaa-san buries herself in the ungodly amount of duties and work to escape the worrying funk she got herself into for her father, so it's not like she can't sympathize.

On the other hand, her tou-san is actually just drafted towards the front lines just last month. The fighting with Iwa is escalating and the clan-head apparently saw it fit to send some of his best men to defend the village. Her father is a great fighter in his own right and has a matured Sharingan to boot.

It makes Pochi frustrated, to be honest, since she can't remember anything remarkable about both of them in her previous life. Considering the fact that in her previous timeline she has her head stuck in her ass before Obito died and Rin sacrificed herself, it's not really surprising. She distinctly recalls being more concerned about her impending promotion to jounin and proving- always _striving_ to _prove_ how different she was from her then father, Hatake Sakumo.

Thank kami, the one Pochi now calls Kashi-nii seems to be a smidgen better than who she was before. He's still an arrogant bastard, of course, (Pochi's self-aware enough to admit that probably wouldn't change), but Pochi and her mother's presence seems to make him soften a bit and connect more to other people.

She's not exactly sure if she's just projecting or what (the mask makes it hard to get his take on things) since there are times when Kashi-nii would be utterly insufferable and taunt Obito with the rules this and rules that. He's still going on and on about it, the prat. However, Pochi can't help but see how, sometimes, Kashi-nii would take the time to show how much he cares in his own subtle way. The mask on her cabinet is a definite proof of that. Really, take it from Pochi herself to know that there's an adorable dork hiding in the masked midget's rulebook-obsessed heart. It's just hidden under the mental issues and stress acquired at an extremely young age. He's basically a prickly marshmallow (albeit a bit poisoned and toxic) deep inside.

(Pochi actually told him so the other day and like the classic tsundere she didn't know she previously has the capability to be, Kashi-nii vehemently denied the notion with his ears burning a fetching shade of red. So uncute, really.)

Finishing her bath, Pochi wiped herself up and immediately changed into one of the more plain Uchiha rose-colored kimonos. Her mother along with Mikoto-san and Kushina-nee (or Kushi-baa as the woman insisted to call her as) have gone crazy on the thing when Pochi grown out of her cute onesies. She can't find the heart -or the will- to turn them down.

Pochi remembers the memory as if it was just yesterday. She tried on so many outfits that day it's not even funny! It's exhausting, and the gushing and giggling of the three women didn't really help. They have this glints in their eyes that got Pochi's instincts wary. She didn't dare eavesdrop though when she vaguely heard the word _"wife"_ leave their mouths.

Really. She didn't want to know.

That didn't stopped the foreboding feeling, though. Or the nightmares.

...It's almost ridiculous how scary gushing and giggling women with undesirable glints in their eyes became one of her most dreaded nightmares. It's seriously right after the rabbit shit and that's serious trauma right there.

(Pochi can never really forget about the rabbit shit as she so eloquently put it, since the Sharingan bunny plushy, _lovingly_ named Rab-chan, was a constant presence in her life. It was actually tottered by her for almost a month (due to Obito's fudging sulking face) and, even though she was spared from more torture by this world's Kashi-nii (who, with his general asshole-ishness, stopped her from mutilating the bunny plushy beyond belief), it was still thoughtfully placed on her bedside table by her kaa-san. In her direct line of sight. Every single freaking day and night.)

After taming her hair into a ponytail and making herself presentable, Pochi decided to go out. She really needs the rest and, besides she hasn't been able to spend much time with her two lackeys lately. Pochi's not ashamed to admit that she kind of missed the brats (they grew on her like fungus), since the last time they all hanged out together was three weeks ago where she enlightened them to the joys of dango. Itachi loved it so much, he ate 20!

It was nice to see the boy unwind for once. Lately, he's slowly becoming the Itachi Pochi knows in her previous life and it's worrying. She doesn't know what Fugaku does to his children for them to develop stress lines at such a young age before, but Pochi knows she doesn't want it to happen now.

On a whim, Pochi started to go towards the path leading to Shisui's house and convince him to bug Itachi. He always did have the ability to lift the younger boy out of his moods. The two's relationship kind of reminded her about the "rivalry" between her and Gai minus the spandex, lotus blossoms references and challenges. Gai always did have this knack of finding her and diverting her attention when she's feeling particularly broken.

Pochi wonders when she would see Gai again in this lifetime.

* * *

Preparing to rap her knuckles on the door of Shisui's house, Pochi startled a little when it abruptly opened. Looking up at the man who must be Shisui's father, she bowed politely in greeting.

"Ohayo, Uchiha-san. My name's Uchiha Pochi. Can I ask for Shisui please?"

The seemingly emotionless man with closed-off dark eyes and slightly haggard countenance just stared at her for a moment before saying in a bland tone. "He's training."

"Oh." With her masked lips unconsciously turned into a pout, she struggled to find a more articulate reply.

'Should I just cut my losses and hightail to Itachi's place instead?' Pochi mused.

The decision was taken out of her hands however, when the man beat her to it and broke the silence gruffly. "You want to come in?"

Not wanting to be rude, Pochi agreed graciously. As she heads towards the backyard, she can't help but falter at the sight.

Pochi wondered if it's too late to go back.

...She didn't really want to see this.

* * *

-Cracked: Uchiha Shisui's POV-

Thunk.

Thunk.

Thunk.

Uchiha Shisui looked on emotionlessly as he heard the repeated sound of kunai hitting bulls eye again and again. His aim was good, great even. But he needs to be better.

Better.

All for the greatness of the clan.

Deactivating his newly awakened Sharingan, Shisui carefully put on a smile as he saw, in the corner of his eyes, the distinct presence of silver hair. Turning towards the visitor, he easily put back the kunai to his pouch. He forced himself not to waver from the act. Pochi doesn't need to know.

Shisui ran up to one of his best friends faux excitedly, ducking to reach Pochi's height. He shot up just last year and it's been a tried and true routine for their last get-togethers to rub the fact to both of the chibis faces. The disgruntled look they have on was freaking adorable and worth it.

"Pochi. What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?" He smiled cheerfully, patting the young girl's head.

To his surprise, Pochi grimaced almost imperceptibly before replying. If Shisui wasn't so good in reading people's faces, he wouldn't have caught the expression but he did and it made his chest tighten.

...Does she know?

"Yo. Shisui. Kaa-san's nagging me to spend time with you guys. I thought I can fetch you a bit before going to Itachi's place. What do you think?"

He rubbed the back of his head apologetically. "Nah. I'm gonna pass for now. I need to finish training, you see."

Pochi looked at him searchingly before replying. "Rest is important."

Shisui laughed. "Maybe. But I think I would probably spend more of my energy with you two than get the relaxation, I need."

"Then stop training."

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

Shisui smiled tiredly. "You wouldn't understand."

She glanced at him sadly. "It's okay to ask help, you know."

"What are you saying chibi-chan?" Shisui said lightly, as he felt his control strain. "What do I need the help for?"

Wincing a bit, Pochi stared at him steadily before averting her eyes. "...Nothing. Sorry for bothering you Shisui. I'll just go."

"Aw. You're never a bother Pochi-chan." Shisui pinched Pochi's still chubby cheeks. "I just have to take a test this week so I'm a bit stressed."

Pochi huffed at him indignantly before stepping back. She rubbed her red cheeks while glaring at him balefully. "That hurts, you know."

"It's not my fault you're irresistibly squishy"

"Baka Shisui."

When he saw Pochi left, Shisui continued on his training and sparred with his father who was standing silently all throughout the whole exchange. Dodging a particularly vicious kick, he countered by giving one of his own mechanically. He needs to be better.

Better.

All for the greatness of the clan.

* * *

As Pochi headed home, she paused a bit when she heard Shisui's name from one of his neighbors lips.

"Poor Shisui-kun." the Uchiha woman that she vaguely remembers meeting on her first birthday tittered to her companion. "The boy's a prodigy but does he have to be trained so soon? I get that he acquired the Sharingan early due to his mother's death but Kagami's a fool for pushing the boy."

"Hush Maki-chan." the other woman reprimanded. "You could be heard by others, you know. Besides, the boy is a pride to the clan."

"A pride, yes. But he'll acquire our famous insanity at the rate he's going."

Ignoring the unpleasant churning in her stomach, Pochi continued on her way, striving to forget the eerily familiar look on the older boy's eyes.

A look that she often see in the mirror before. The look that bespoke how she continuously blame herself for the fuck-ups she made in life.

But...

...It's not like Pochi can do anything.

She's not a hero after all, isn't she?

* * *

Uncharacteristically twiddling her thumbs, Pochi approached her mother in the kitchen cautiously.

"Kaa-san."

Smiling tiredly, her kaa-san looked at Pochi while carefully paying attention to the stove she's cooking. "Yes, dear?"

"Can I ask for something?"

As Pochi explained what she wanted, her kaa-san smiled softly and looked at Pochi in understanding.

"Of course."

* * *

"Tachi stop stealing the dango. I can see you, you know" Pochi said in reprimand as she sneaked towards Shisui's backyard.

Chewing the food in his mouth like a chipmunk, Itachi didn't deign reply and just followed Pochi's lead silently.

As they saw Shisui training on his aim, they both deliberately made noise in order not to startle the boy. As they caught Shisui's attention, his eyes glaring red, Itachi waved happily while Pochi looked oddly serious.

Shisui looked genuinely baffled for a moment before smiling that phony _phony_ smile that Pochi wanted to rip of his face. "What are you guys doing here?"

Instead of replying, Pochi just gestured for him to follow. With Itachi leading the way, they proceeded to run to the good spot her kaa-san suggested the other week. Although obviously hesitant, it was gratifying to hear the patter of Shisui's feet behind them.

When they reached the place, she and Itachi coordinated in setting up the blanket. After a moment, Shisui joined them quietly.

"What is this for Itachi? Pochi?" Shisui laughed sheepishly, the irritatingly _fake_ sound ringing in Pochi's ears. "I really need to get back to training, you know."

"You don't have to pretend, Shisui." Itachi said solemnly.

"Pretend?"

"Yes, fudging pretend brat." Pochi scolded. "It's bloody annoying."

Handing the dango that are still miraculously left from Itachi's care, she said huffily. "Here. Eat some dango."

"Un. Dango is awesome." Itachi agreed, looking at Shisui's face carefully.

Shisui's face fell and the mask that he tightly wore since he acquired his Sharingan broke. "Thank you." he whispered.

As the three watched the sun set, Pochi and Itachi politely ignored Shisui's tears and just sat beside him in comfortable silence.

* * *

-Comfort: Uchiha Kagami POV-

Uchiha Kagami is not a bad man.

He's a strict father, yes, but contrary to the opinion of the people around him, Kagami really did love his son.

He just didn't know how to show it.

When his wife died from a miscarriage, Kagami didn't know what to do.

His son, Shisui, was irrationally blaming himself. The boy apparently got into a fight with his mother the day before it happened and was burying himself in training to get his mind off his guilt.

Kagami, himself, was grieving and didn't know how to help. Aside from indulging his boy's irrational need to train his Sharingan and training him to be the best shinobi he can be, Kagami was clueless in handling a child who's obviously in mourning yet, unlike the kids his age, chose to hide it away.

So when Kagami saw the trio, consisting of the clan-head's son and Akira's daughter, he smiled sadly and left them be.


End file.
